The following page is a historical archive from the 2nd Arsonese Era, it is likely no longer kept up to date with current events and may have no bearing on the current map or game.
(Page was a mess, so previous stories have been moved to Past News)
The AoA issues a statement to Lapinland saying that should the wabbits fail to leave Shaderia, the AoA will send foxes to Lapinland and kill every wabbit that's there.
Wabbits start invading Mainland Shaderia as Wales is no longer their enemy.
Stahl sees this as an opportunity to try and nuke URPA (which misses?), and URPA retaliates by sending nukes to Stahl and The Falklands and Aberdeshia.
Axis of Awesome nuke mainland AAC and Haringtopia
AAC goes crazy and nukes pretty much everyone except Shaderia, all nukes hit.
AAC prisoners of war are taken to Shaderia. They are kept in top secret prisons where they will soon be executed in an effort to bring Pippin back from the dead.
The Day Arsinos Held Its Breath[]
After hearing of Pippin's fate Ezekiel Saresh is ordered to collect the dogs corpse.
The New World fleet joins The Sapphire Isles in attacking Haringtopia North East
After hearing that AAC may decide to set all of its carriers on offensive, the AoA forces near the mainland are ordered to try and capture, and destroy, AAC silos within reach.
During the battle which is now known as the War of the West , the Axis of Awesome (bar lexilo who was currently fighting the AAC closer to home) suffers a terrible defeat in a New World naval battle, losing the two carriers remaining there and destroying none of AAC's fleet. However, AoA troops make good headway into Haringtopia and secure a fair amount of land whilst the AoA fleet manages destroy the AAC carriers without taking losses. AoA troops successfully land on AAC mainland.
After numerous delays CIS declares war on DC. Large numbers of Kanish, Stahlian, Pullonian and Salopian forces invade both north eastern Lupaia and eastern Dalania.
AAC's agents of ARSE attempt to steal the Table. Though they ultimately fail at the hands of Loveshack security and AoA forces nearby, they activate an EMP device during the heist which unintentionally draws Cayden to Loveshack. Cayden, realising that the Arsinos Presidential Debates are taking place here, attacks the candidates and broadcasts a message to promote an anarchic revolution. He reveals John Barrowman to be a puppet of the Machine God. The revelation triggers mass riots in AAC, which turn violent quickly. Cayden disappears from Loveshack.
Dalania stations two aircraft carriers to permenant deployment around the island of Suno, to help serve as a fast response to any threats to Loveshack following the recent attempted attack.
CIS begins large scale military exercises in SE, the first ever to be carried out by the alliance hundreds of thousands of Stahlian, Salopian, Kaneish and Pullonian troops are involved.
Allied forces consisting of AoA, AAC and UN fleets, along with Novakerozian airbourne carriers, successfully defeated Monty's fleet at Loveshack. Dalanian (and to a lesser extent lupaian) absense was strongly noted. Both nations cited the distance between their fleets and the combat zone as justification, noting that the strategists on all sides anticipated the battle would be over once they arrived and they were already engaged with AoA forces blockading Rapture.
Inspired by the new Jurassic World film Stahl decides to create Arsinos's first Jurassic Park on the island of Adelphi.
John Barrowman is declined entrance into Rapture on the grounds that he sucks.
Following a joint plot by Cayden Masher and the Machine God, Amun-Seth is utterly destroyed by nuclear warheads, which are detonated in their silo in a wide spread across the nation. Next to 80 million are killed. Monty hi-jacks the Sethian fleet and sends it to Loveshack on a violent suicide mission.
Stahl declares war on Dalania invading Bananalon.
Glentanimo Bay is opened as a high security prison on Glenmark.
With the Azhulian Purists still terrorising Shaderia Mayor Moley appoints Sacrenoir, Solomon's former general, to sort out the problem.
Amaru is assasinatedd by an unknown attacker. The people of Amun-Seth, driven crazy with the desire for revenge and a sudden bloodlust, look to Chewbacca to lead them to glory. Amun-Seth invades both URPA and AAC at the same time to appear its bloodthirsty people. It leaves the Dark Crusader alliance.
All over Arsinos, telivision sets flicker and crackle. Images of war, strife and devastation flash across the screens... then are replaced by the hideous, stylised visage of the Machine God. The voice that comes from behind it, though, is not that of Sodney Masher or his twisted AI. It's James Moriarty. "Helllooo Arsinos! Are you ready... for luuurve? ...no? You're not? What do you mean you're not? No, no, of course you're not. You're not! You're so not ready! We've got so much love coming your way, Arsinos, but you're just... not... ready! Oh, well. Shame that. I'll have to prepare you! Ohhh, I have the perfect solution! Isn't it exciting! But I'll need a little, ah... control, as it were. Y'know, just to help establish our relationship! It'll be SO much fun! So, I've got this little plan. Are you listening? It's so simple, honestly! Just give me.... hmm… I know! Give me... wait for it... Paramoria! All of it! Resources and everything, all those delicious little families, too! It's important, honestly. You'll thank me. This is just a warm-up party for... Him. He'll want to know I've gotten you all ready. You wouldn't want to not be ready, now, would you? Not to keen on the idea? That's fine. Don't trust me? I understand. Need a little extra, y'know, motivation?!" The glee in his voice is clear. "Okay, I can do that! If you don't give in to my demands... BOOM! Big boom. You try to play with me, it goes boom. You send any troops there, it goes boom. Anyone tries to flee like COWARDS, it goes boom. So just business... as usual... or BOOM! It's quite simple, really. This isn't some big ol' nuclear boom, I'm not so unfashioned. Too clever for that. It's just a really... really... big boom. You'll be thanking me soon. You just will. Toodles!" The image disappears, and the television returns to regular programming as though nothing had happened.
How the Cookie Crumbles[]
Amaru begins a campaign to win back his popularity, after a near defeat in the polls, by starting a free cookie give-away to the people. The general public respond that they're not quite as good as CM's, but not bad.
In Dalania, it seems that the exodus to the capital is continuing reasonable well - though there are still immense tailbacks, with many instead choosing to give-up part way along and return to their homes. So far, it seems only those who want to enter the bunker who are living in the capital have been able to enter yet.
Shadistikan separatists set off several explosives near government buildings, and other buildings of importance, in Shadowspire. At the same time there are numerous breaches in the western barricades that were built to keep the feral undead at bay. Luckily the western barricades are mostly patrolled so a limited number of creatures got through, but some of the explosions also killed the soldiers, leaving some areas unprotected. Mayor Moley sends an even larger force into the west to try and keep the ferals under control.
After trailing one of The Devilish Rogues minions, an assassin of The Creeping Shroud discovers a secret laboratory underneath an abandoned warehouse. After taking most of the guards and disabling the cameras the assassin discovered several piles of blueprints and notes, all of which concern the TARDIS. It seems that The Devilish Rogue has successfully created a machine capable of travelling through space, which seems to be the reason that he's been so elusive of late. Yet from what the notes are saying it appears as though time travel is not yet a possibility. The assassin gathers any information he deems of importance before burning the warehouse to the ground and reporting back to his comrades.
Jorhan Stahl is found guilty of a number of crimes against the Stahl people and is sentenced to death and placed on death row as he has one chance to appeal against the sentence.
The island of Barnegat stays vigilant as the inhabitants prepare their defences.
WILD, wild the storm, and the sea high running,
Steady the roar of the gale, with incessant undertone muttering,
Shouts of demoniac laughter fitfully piercing and pealing,
Waves, air, midnight, their savagest trinity lashing,
Out in the shadows there milk-white combs careering,
On beachy slush and sand spirts of snow fierce slanting,
Where through the murk the easterly death-wind breasting,
Through cutting swirl and spray watchful and firm advancing,
(That in the distance! is that a wreck? is the red signal flaring?)
Slush and sand of the beach tireless till daylight wending,
Steadily, slowly, through hoarse roar never remitting,
Along the midnight edge by those milk-white combs careering,
A group of dim, weird forms, struggling, the night confronting,
That savage trinity warily watching.
Jorhan Stahl hands himself over to Stahl forces, he is taken to Stahlberg to be charged for his crimes before being handed over to the UN.
Following an election for the Dux of the AoA Emma Stone, the nominee from Lexilo wins, narrowly beating the Fozamese candidate Elton John.
The Axis of Awesome decides to carry out a great reform in order to better unite its members and work more effectively on the whole. As a result it has chosen to have one great leader to rule them all, the Dux, who will consult with the Grand Gaggle, who are the leaders of the AoA states.
Following the passing of new UNGA laws, Kane, Jorhan Stahl, AAC president Hawksworth, Moriarty and Hans Landa are all wanted by the UN for war crimes and will face trial by the ICC. Kane was captured easily during Toastervision celebrations. Hawksworth, terrified of losing power, has holed herself up in her house north of Paramoria with a large armed force guarding her, essentially sparking off a minor rebellion in the country. The other criminals whereabouts are unknown.
Cookie Monster is killed in a firefight after being captured by Lupaian marines.
Rioters disatisfied with the time taken with uploading the Toastervision 17 playlist storm and burn down the arena, leading to questions over DPRSJ's ability to host the contest.
Big update on the Stahl thing. Amun Seth secures almost all of the west, except Cadra which is secured by URPA. AS gives the lnad to AAC, who trade it with Lexilo for land adjacent to Haringtopia, but AAC keeps a small patch of land bordering Amun-Seth, so they can build a naval base and a city.
Amun-Seth military marches east from it's borders to lay claim to the land, everything up to the city of Rio.
Imperials and western rebels agree on a truce in return for support against the rebels and a return to normal the empire will be dissovled and a democratic federation created once again.
Realising that a military victory maybe impossible Jorhan Stahl attempts to open talks with the rebels in Modrid and Cabra, offers of a return to the more democratic federation with Stahl leading as Chancellor may alter the balance against the communists.
Mass riots occur globally as the Toastervision 17 playlist fails to arrive on the day it was supposed to. Coked up rioters attempt to beseige the arena in Ravetown. There has been no official word from Stalin Dogg, infact, DPRSJ officials have been awfully quiet.
Amun-Seth is divided into three states, Ashen, Hiddleston and Volantis. A large building plan is announced, and there is talk of the nation becoming democratic soon.
With Solomon's passing the mindless undead of west Shaderia have become even more erratic, especially around the northwest. People are advised to be armed at all times when travelling the west for their own safety.
Despite Tamik's attempts to persuade the Shadistikan's that Solomon killed Azhul for the greater good, the Shadistikan religion is split into two factions, with the largest group declaring Solomon a heretic for killing their God and demanding destruction of the state.
Now the war is over, AAC has actual elections, and President Hawksworth wins, not at all because AAC cba with a new leader so soon after the last one.
Bringing a new meaning to the term puppet government. Angus Blue is named as Pullonias lord protector "Until the peoples dear leader cookie monster is vindicated!" - Blue says he will do his best to oversee the country as "Cookie Monster has officially left Pullonia to spare his beloved people from the wrath of a corrupt UN"
Winter is Coming... (In the middle of summer, apparently)[]
The Kaneland coastguard have called off a search for 2 fisherman and after their vessel washed up on the shore of Lornon. Kanish-Lornon relations have deteriated after Lornon is accused of foul play and a half harted attempt to locate the fishermen.
Kaneland Media report that the Dark Crusaders nuked the brave Kanish forces as they routed AAC. Kane declares that their actions cannot be allowed to stand and orders that the nation prepare for total war. Kane declares that even the opperative of AAC has abandoned their cause.
AAC reminds Kaneland that our operative is dead. Killed by Kaneish warships infact.
Dalania condemns the Kanish media's shrewd attempt to hide their nation's utter cowardice, especially since there was no prior grievance with Kaneland.
Countessa Tamik calls in all forces in an attempt to stabilise the situation at home but promises aid in other forms should AAC or its allies attack. Meanwhile construction is finished on the giant domes which are erected around Shaderia and all of its sovereign colonies in order to prevent happenings whilst Shaderia is busy. (I'm going on holiday, no invading!)
The War for the North rages on. AAC is crushed in the green sea after an attempted counterseige of Kaneland. AAC also suffers heavy losses up north in Blackwater Bay, where Stahl had attempted to seige before they retreated. With support from the Drak Crusaders and Lexilo, AAC makes a perceived last stand in the channel of Last Hope against Kane and his allies. A bloody battle is fought, which is decicively won by AAC and the Dark Crusaders, but Kane nukes the battlefield, killing all surviving ships, because he is a coward and a sore loser. Dark Crusaders and AAC swear revenge will be had.
After an exstensive search by the The Silent Shadow, the Devilish Rogue has been discovered near Barrow Downs, New World, selling weapons to all sides of the AAC/Kane war. The Silent Shadow and her fellow assassins attack and chase the Devilish Rogue into the labyrinth of tunnels beneath the sprawling city. After taking out the majority of guards and avoiding most traps the Silent Shadow discovers his lair, just in time to see Davina McCall, very much alive, escaping through a mechanical vent. Before the SS can give chase the section of the tunnel begins to cave in and she is forced to make her escape.
Some Shadistikans are rioting in Shaderia after learning that Solomon may have been the one who killed Azhul and Countessa Tamik is finding it very difficult to cope. She sends Sacrenoir and Mortimer Goth to oversee the Kanish invasion of Haringtopia whilst trying to bring order back to the west. This is growing more difficult, however, as more and more undead creatures are roaming the deadlands free of their masters, making it dangerous to cross.
A few citizens of Amun-Seth claim to have seen a mysterious red light flashing around the streets at night-time, accompanied by a strange clicking noise. The reports would be dismissed were it not for some of King Amaru's staff reporting similar sightings down in the old Devil's Crag. Meanwhile, an investigation team sent into the Undercity to investigate the cause of Amun-Seth's recent plague of tremors have disappeared after reporting Steel Tide in the tunnels. King Amaru calls the Avengers.
During the events of the Undying Vendetta campaign The Avengers were able prevent the Guardians of Azhul from bringing him back from the Abyss, however, the moment the Immortal was contained in his realm King Solomon of Shaderia was killed by Baron Samedi, who subsequently vanished in a flash of bright light. Countessa Tamik has taken over the role of leading Shaderia and is doing what she can to prevent news from breaking out, though numerous rumours are already being leaked.
Outland is turned into a barren wasteland and its new overlords, the Four Horsemen, have established a base and begin building an immensely powerful army using slave labour. Some survivors of the apocalypse there have banded together to form Resistance, which is supposedly being lead by the thought-to-be-dead Solomon Masher. See here for the Outland map.
Rioting spreads throughout the cities of the Stahl Empire, numerous forces defect to the PRA with a number of individual factions/nations beginning to emerge as the empire crumbles.
AAC's leader shoots herself and 2 nukes are launched. AAC is kicked out of the UN for breaking the international WMD ban.
In a remarkable turnaround Shaderia and Kaneland agree a truce and work together to evacuate Outland and assualt AAC's new world territory to create living space for teh refugee inflow.
There is talk of the end of days in Outland - The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have begun a mighty crusade against Outland! From the north, the Steel Tide (lead by Cayden and the Machine God) march down upon AAC and Lupaia, and in the south the World Breaker has begun tearing Novak apart, city by city. The UN's Gate, meanwhile, has been utterly destroyed following a bomb plot by Moriarty, and many UN staff working there are revealed to be Cultists. A mighty war is raging...
Kaneland launches a daring raid on Yensa (Shaderian outland) while Shaderian forces continue to push South towards Kanedad. Kane takes command of the defence of Kanedad as fortifications take shape.
In Northrend, the last of the zombies have begun dying as the Black Flu mutates a third time, making it more dangerous than ever. Worse still, newly upgraded Steel Tide forces have begun pouring into eastern Northrend in their thousands and begin slowly marching west. They appear to be be under the warlord Cayden Masher's control.
Kaneland's military base, west of the Blacklight source, is destroyed by Shaderian forces. Shaderia pushes further into Kaneland to cut off reinforcements. Kaneland begins bombing runs of the Blacklight, compromising the source and threatening to bury it. A great ariel battle is underway.
Kane arrives in Kanetalon Harbour and helps build an artificial reef. There is much publicity and Kane is named environmentalist of the year.
Kane orders the bombing of the Kanish Blacklight source (now controlled by Shaderia). If Kane can't have it no one can!
AAC elects a new president, Hannah Merona, in a landslide election. Her first acts as president are drastic naming and structural reforms to the country. The AAC acronym is reassigned to mean Aprillian-Arsinese Confederation, the capital is officially moved to Paramoria, and almost all island cities are renamed.
Following an anomaly in the radiation levels detected on Damnos, a UN investigation declares the area a safe zone.
AAC, Dalanian, Sethian and Stahlian secret services come across references to Blackstar.
AAC divides up some of its oil and gives it to other nations in an attempt to further worldwide economic growth.
Revolution in the Stahl Empire with many citizens unhappy over international relations and other nations views on the empire as being evil communist rebels sense an opportunity to strike and bring down the ruthless emperor.
Kane continues his tour of Kanish Outland moving on to Kaneusalem after spending a week in the casinos of Kane vegas losing the equivalent of the Kaneland health budget.
In Outland, Shaderian forces sucessfully reach the Blacklight source, cutting it off from Kaneland. They are unlikely to be able to hold it for long, however, since Kaneland is hitting back hard. Kaneland's gate will shut down in a week without a Blacklight source.
Extremely worrying news - there has been an uprise is activity from the Cult of the Machine God. Word has it that the Machine God has returned for the second coming.
Nadezdi is given to Lupaia by King Amaru, as part of a plan to give all three Dark Crusaders some neighbouring lands.
The GRU and Stahl empire reach a land agreement following the GRU's occupation of the recently acquired Stahl city of new Falafel. GRU will take the city in exchange for the isle of Barnegat and the sparsely populated southern corner of DPRSJ.
AAC and Amun Seth decide the attack is not worth the effort and stop.
Cookie Monster manages to negotiate a white peace with Shaderia and in addition a defensive pact in exchange for a Shaderian share in the oil
Cookie Monster returning from the seige of Oasis
Amun-Seth and AAC combine naval forces and set sail to claim Pullonia's new oil field and split the oil 50/50.
A new TV dramatisation of the Avengers of Arsinos is currently under production - King Amaru has ordered 22 episodes.
Kane begins a grand tour of Kanish outland to boost morale and production.
Kaneland helps resettle the Durka city and Kaneford radiation victims in Kaneland Outaland colony. Since most of the victims were from Durka city many of the cities forming in the Northern half of Kanish Outland have a distinctive feel reflecting the strong religious beliefs of the settlers.
Fusonia invades northern Pullonia in the hope of scattering their forces and making them easier to fight.
DPRSJ sends forces south east to defend its border in case of attack.
A lightning storm cuts off all communication from Northrend to the outside world.
Here there be dragons![]
President Black makes a speech on national TV announcing that she has reason to beleive there is a plan to attack Novak and its allies and she is therefore taking preventative measures such as recalling forces, evicting SE bases, rallying the international community, mobilising and digging in forces etc etc. She also makes clear that she will use nukes in spite of the ban if that is what it takes to defend her country. The nations concerned are the Empires of Salopia and Stahl.
Stahl's Outland colony has reported a series of raids, particularly in more remote villages, The perpetrator is unknown, but reports say that he/she has inhuman abilities.
Work on Stahl's Jaeger program continues with the project at 50% completion, whilst not yet completed the emperpor has already chosen the Jaegers moto "to punish and enslave"
Several of the colonies in Outland begin arctic expeditions to explore the frozen wastes of Northrend, to determine if it is suitable land to claim. (And thus began the most spontaneous and awesome Arsinos mini-game ever!)
Unrest increases in the Stahl Empire due to the inequailty between regions namely Stahl and everywhere else, propaganda from the communist rebels also begins to increase with leaflets appearing thoughout the empire denouncing the emperor.
Jeremy Kyle orders the full defence of the Kaneish Blacklight and rienforcements gate in from kaneopolis to repel the Shaderian looters.
Gate resources are discovered on the UN and Kanish lands of outland. Shaderia moves quickly to free Kaneland of this dangerous resource.
Merlin is found innocent of sexual harassasment against Harry Potter by the International Criminal Court, after Merlin defeats him in combat (by transforming into a T-Rex and biting his head off).
Revolution in Amun-Seth - following the Massacre of Amun-Seth, all machine citizens in Amun-Seth turn on their human counterparts. A massacre takes place. Dalanian military saves Amun-Seth from a meltdown. The country is reformed and fully human once again. Devil's Crag is rebuilt on the surface and the military is re-organised.
King Masher is confirmed dead after an attack of unknown nature. Jim Moriarty is named as his killer.
A chemical attack is taken out on Paramoria. AAC blames RoS and promptly declares war, attacking RoS' territory in the new world.
Fearing Stahl has become too powerful in the region, Novak, DPRSJ and Lornon entered a randocratic alliance, and shortly decided to put forces into New Falafel, with a UNGA proposal to legitimise this action.
AAC hands over Waxahatchee to Stahl after an unknown arrangement takes place.
Imperial rail cannons are deployed in the newly accuired cities of New Paramoria and New Falafel as part of an increased military build up along the entire northern border of the empire.
Kane appoints Draco Malfoy to be the next Kaneland UN representitive. Malfoy takes his place on the UNEC to replace the late Mr Jelly Belly
The Stahl High Seas fleet completes maneuvers in the Green Sea. Meanwhile the imperial guard extends its military exercises along the entire northern border of the empire in particular the jungles and rivers of the western provinces.
The Isles of Red are chosen as the new location for Dr Strasse's military base. the island receives extensive militarisation with ordinary citizens deported to the colonies of the empire.
Emperor Stahl decides to remodel the Stahl military after playing the new Wolfenstein game, Doctor Wilhelm Strasse is charged with remodeling and re-equiping the miltary similar to the germans in Wolfenstein.
Lornon and DPRSJ denounce the rule of their protectors (Shaderia and AAC) and decide to create a union between themselves so they can become self sufficient. Both countries move towards becoming communist randocracies though both still retain some form of independence.
Mr Jelly belly is assasinated by poison by an unknow assailant. Kane accuses Shaderia of the murder and sparks a new round of patriotism for the war effort in Kaneland.
King Masher transfers the dormant spirit of the World Breaker into The Orb - this artifact is currently under heavy guard in Devil's Crag, 'just in case'...
Zeddie Little demands an audience with Solomon immediately and urges the DPRSJ and AAC leaders to be there.
Security footage from The Table's stronghold shows 12 skeleton soldiers in peculiar robes ransacking the facility. They were not confused by the labyrinth between them and the artifact and marched straight towards it, killing any guards who got in their way and bringing them back to fight by their side. As they were leaving the facility the power cut out and the cameras could not record their escape.
Re-instated King Masher begins construction of atmospheric processors in Amun-Seth to regenerate the land and make it a lush jungle.
AAC sends troops towards the Lornon/DPRSJ island to provide extra security for the table.
There is mass panic and an enforcement of marshal law on the island between Lornon and DPRSJ. The refugees from surrounding areas add to the hysteria and many people are killed as the military tries to restore order. Reports claim that there was a vicious attack on the museum of The Table though these remain unverified.
Ruaumoko is defeated by the New Avengers and Masher. Sethos is vaporised. Masher absorbs the World Breaker's powers and re-instates himself as king of Amun-Seth. The New Avengers lose their powers and return to civilian life.
The World Breaker decimates the AAC city of Thialia for unknown reasons. It then flies back to the ocean and goes for another swim, disappearing from radar.
AAC gets bored and starts hosting jousting competitions in Port Lunaea.
Kane becomes the world champion of Golf at the Holiday island golf resort.
Nigel Farage is sent to Funland high security prison on charges of incompitence for failing to shoot down the missiles aimed at Durka and Kaneford cities.
Amun-Seth declares a state of emergency and goes into withdrawal without leadership.
The UNEC announces that any nation using a WMD will be expelled from the United Nations for the maximum term, with additional sanctions imposed case-by-case, until a new system can be created to manage their use.
Kaneland and Shaderia engage in nuclea war The oilfield south of Shadeira gets gestroyed and Kaneland loses Durka and Kaneofrd cities.
Kaneland News Corp announces that instability in Arsinos is leading to record sales of Kane Indusried build your own fallout shelter kits. Does your Family have one yet? get one before it is too late!
It's too late
Kane On-Sea is attacked by the World Breaker. He is eventually repelled with some clever defence plans, but not before 504 civilian casulties are inflicted.
The World Breaker rises from the ocean in Outland and attacks its next target - Stonetalon Harbour! It tramples through the west of Kaneland's colony as it stomps towards the Blacklight source there.
The Stahl Empire announces plans to cease hostilities against other nations and promote peace and economic growth across Arsinos. It's first step towards this goal is the permenant closure of its nuclear program except for use in civilian power stations.
Jorhaning a Laugh A coalition of smaller nations forms to better protect themselves against the Stahl and SE merger.
After destroying what remains of the Ceph,
The World Breaker revealed.
the World Breaker flies to Ptomley's Gate and attempts to enter Arsinos. It fails, however, as it isn't strong enough yet. Instead, it sends a few natural disasters through the Gate and then dives into the Outland ocean, presumably in search of more Blacklight to consume.
To avoid having to deal with all this Kane, Nigella and KJ head off on holiday to the holiday island. Nigel Farage is put in charge of Kaneland until kane returns.
The World Breaker awakens from Blackrock Mountain. It flies down to Ratchet and begins laying waste to the Ceph in their thousands.
Shit going down and stuff[]
AAC announces contruction of a 700ft wall along the north Haringtopia border, to keep out Wildlings and White Walkers.
After a routine session with the parliament of advisors Emperor Stahl suspends the empires nuclear program and announces planned investments into farming and the economy particularly in the western areas of the empire.
AAC also requests parlance with The Ceph "representative".
Bored with sitting round waiting, AAC sends its troops waiting in the bay by Kaneland home, with approx 40% being sent to Haringtopia, 30% to the main island and 30% being sent into Outland to fight the Ceph.
In light of recent riots the Stahl Empire pulls its troops out of SE to prevent clashes with rioters.
The Stahl High Seas Fleet is deployed west of Esfuezero and uses its carriers to blockade the nearby RoS port. The airborne carriers and troops withdrawn from the southern assualt return to the desert of sharks region to maintain order.
The Stahl Empire and Salopian Empire agree on an alliance and investements in return for land ending the wat known as the clash of empires.
The Republic of Shropshire is admitted to the UN and granted full membership after achieving the required 50% of votes. (For= Novak, Kaneland, Stahl Empire, Lupaia and Shaderia. Against= AAC Total available votes = 10)
The war between the Ceph and AAC accelerates, with the Ceph adopted 'teleportation' tactics to hit all of AAC's cities at once.
An attack of unknown nature takes place in the Shaderian city of Geat. Thorn, Amun-Seth's operative, was suspect of being involved. However, he has since gone AWOL.
RoS begins colonisation efforts in "Lupaia's" New World territory.
King Solomon and Mayor Stubbs travel to Fozamor to meet with the new Fozamese leader Mufasa. Mayor Stubbs is particularly interested in seeing Pride Rock.
Jeremy Kyle founds the city of Kane Vegas and aims to become the centre of Outalnds entertainment and gambling industry. Images of Kane adorn the streets and the settlers set about building the worlds largest Kane statue.
Kaneland establishes a colony on Outland, with plans for a new city and expansion. The primitives of Outland flock down to the colony, accelerated its growth.
AAC responds by sending aircraft to airstrike The Citadel.
In Outland, the Ceph have launched a second attack, an ariel bombardment, of Thialia, with the intention of eradicating the Blacklight virus.
The UNEC releases a unanimous statement: The UNEC condemns the use of chemical weapons by Salopian Empire which violates UN law. SE is to declare that it understands the use of such weapons is illegal and should allow inspectors to verify that there are no other WMD weapons (excluding nukes) in SE territory. Any further use of unsanctioned WMDs may result in a UN military resolution against SE.
Mr Jelly Belly goes outside to see what they want. He begins to hand out jelly beans.
A small group begins to gather outside the UN headquarters at Loveshack. They make no demands and do not interfere; they sit peacefully outside the headquarters and wait.
Kane appears to have vanished from public sight and broadcasts suggest he is underground.
Kane appears on Kaneland TV and explains that foreign powers have attacked Kaneish installations but were driven off by the outstanding dedication of the Kaneland defence force.
The Ceph have attacked Fozamor and New Falafel, using their Gate to materialise on Arsinos. The reason for their attack is unknown.
The Clash of the Empires reaches peak intensity, a ceasefire after the most deadly naval battle in history is followed by the nuking of bridgenorth killing millions and sinking 16 carriers and SEs remaining navy. Radiation spreads to Broseley, Wenlock and degausser irradiating much farmland. A food crisis is triggered raising prices globally and causing instability in the desert of sharks. The global economic situation is worsened by the nukes impact on trade and transport.
An attack by an unidentified non-human has left a hole in AAC's Outland border, allowing the Blacklight Virus infection to spread there. Meanwhile, after immense pressure from the Ceph, Lupaia prepares to destroy the city of Hades to prevent the infection spreading any further.
Elton John is replaced by Mufasa as head of Fozamor, his first act is to declare a nationwide ban on stampeding.
The Stahl Empire abandons it's sourthern assualt after being ambushed and repelled by SE forces meanwhile reserve forces across the empire begin to mobilize in preperation for a long conflict.
Jorhan Stahl pledges to hand over any territory taken in Salopia to RoS once the war concludes.
Walters orders army to arrest any Lupaia nationals in RoS
Something has caused a quarantine breach in the city of Hades, allowing the Blacklight Virus out into the open plains, heading towards AAC. Efforts are being made to resolve the issue. Samples of the virus' research also appear to have been stolen.
Atilla the Bun publically refuses Stahls offer to be a protectorate of the empire
Various nukes and political changes and uncertainty plunge the world into economic fudge
The Stahlion nuke spreads radiation to theedon and much of landland
Shit's gonna start picking for the World Breaker soon, folks! If you're like, totally lost in the storyline, here's a 'story so far' type of thing that'll hopefully clear things up. It's a fairly complex story but I can always clarify stuff if confused! I'll update the page regularly.
Meanwhile, in Lupaia's Outland colony, many are falling victim of blacklight poisoning, turning citizens into zombie-like creatures.
Reports are coming in that The Ceph leader, Ellen J. Hunter, and their operative, Flintlock, are dead. This follows the collapse of Deadmines, one of Outland's largest sources of Blacklight.
Preperations are made in Thrift Shop and Chav Town for a big opperation.
Ellen J. Hunter orders a mass execution of native primitives in Stonetalon Valley. Tens of thousands are put to death, with their city being destroyed in the process. The survivors, however, remain loyal to Kane.
After a mass viewing of 22 Jump Street, AAC citizens unanimously elect Ice Cube as the country's new president. He immediately starts a new education reform program, entitled "You sons of bitches are going to college!"
The Stahl Empire launches a nuke at Crinkly Bottom and threatens to nuke Bridgnorth should other nations join the war.
Silos will be constructed on the Isles of Red and one outside Rio courtesy of a grateful RoS to Stahl
RoS halts advance in SE and turns it's attention to deal with Lupaia and hold its possessions.
Lupaia accuses RoS of enforcing law and order on its people and threatens war. RoS responds by declaring war - "all countries should be free to be able to administer justice" (Bernice Walters)
An apparently wealthy merchant of Outland technology, who is known as The Blind Man, has opened a market. He has purchased Tophat Island from AAC and currently lives there.
The Stahl Empire gains permission from AAC to invade SE from the south through Waxahatchee.
The table is fired with a kaneish missile through Ptomleys gate. The Outland natives capture it, believing it to be a gift from the "god" Kane. AAC and Shaderian forces in Outland move to take it from them. A bloodbath ensues, with the natives fighting to the death.
AAC points out that it will be pretty difficult to evacuate such an esteemedobject from a city that is so heavily under siege.
Reports have come in that the table is being prepared for transportation. Destination Unknown. Aircraft from the Jeremy Kyle aircraft carrier off the coast of Kanestralia engage the AAC airborne carrier flleet.
She orders the "police to begin investigations into the peoples who are not "naturalised" citizens of the republic.
Bernice Walters reforms the Republic's police service. Giving it increased powers and enshrined doctrine. - She appoints herself High Inquisitor.
With AAC's airbourne carrier fleet positioned just outside Thrift Shop, both the silo and the able will soon be in safe hands. That is, unless Kane agrees our terms.
Since Kaneland is in denial about just how screwed they are Shaderia and the Sovereign Colonies continue to attack. The Lornonian fleet, alongside some of the Shaderian fleet, work on defending Lornon and bombarding the north of Kaneland whilst New World continues to invade thriftshop.
The Stahl Empire deploys all its carriers together into the new High Seas Fleet and prepares to take the Grand Fleet of the Salopian Empire head on.
With the nuclear levels receding in New World several teams enter the area to assess the damage and check any nuclear bunkers. Whilst searching the theater they find a top hat on top of a pile of dust. Abraham Lincoln, leader of New World, is dead. Catherine Ironfist takes control of the colony.
AAC gives Kane an ultimatum. Surrender Thrift Shop's silo immediately, or the city will burn. Every man, woman and child who doesn't swear allegiance to AAC will die in the most horrific and painful ways. ANd we will still take the silo.
The Stahl Empire declares war on the Salopian Empire.
RoS launches an invasion of SE's lands due to piracy
Bernice Walters concludes a treaty with Lupaia - whereby disputed land is handed over to RoS
SRES witnesses a coup led by Bernice Walters who topples the weak socialist leadership. Proclaiming the new Republic of Shropshire in its place
In Outland, the Ceph natives residing in Stonetalon Valley are split in their adoration and facination of the new colonists. Some claim Novak to be the true power, whilst others flock to Shaderia and surround the nearest cities in primitive camps, generally creating a nuisence and blocking trade. The larger portion have heard of Kane by word of mouth and believe him to be the reincarnation of the World Breaker.
AAC announces plans to build its Formula Toast racetrack in Port Lunaea, Haringtopia to try and help boost the city and region's tourism industry.
Arsinos has recovered from the hibernation it went to as a result of a sever winter
The World is Breaking...[]
In an effort to increase happiness the Kaneland board of public health announces that all citizens will be required to undergo surgery to make smiling permanent. This is expected to massively improve service quality and productivity and is just another reminder that Kane Kares.
In a surprise move towards democracy Kaneland issues a referendum:
1) Should Kaneland be an independent country?
a) Yes
b) Yes Dear Leader
2) Should Kaneland leave the UN
a) Yes, The UN is a corrupt institution set up by foreign powers to destroy kaneland.
b) Yes Dear Leader
3) Should Kanleand threaten sovereign nations with nuclear weapons to achieve strategic objectives:
a) Yes, lets start with the Shaderian swine dogs.
b) Yes Dear Leader.
After poll analysis statisticians report a dangerous rise in free thinking with 5% of respondents forgetting that all questions are required to be answered by law with the words "Yes dear leader".
Re-education centres have been opened in the Kanelandistan mountains to help the 5% remember the value of hard work and fix their attitude problem.
Many Sethians have started developing cobwebs among their circuitry due to inactivity.
With the war against UP over the Stahl Empire decides to create a permenant army group that will be based at the barracks in Daxia.
Kaneish citizens who held UP currency are rioting outside bakeries after finding they cannot withdraw their cakes. The Kaneish dollar falls after markets predict further instability in the region.
Levels of drug abuse in Kanestralia are said to be over 110% of the population according to the Kanestralia statistics agency.
Kane would be pleased to welcome the people of hottie island into Greater kaneland but kane is a great admirer of the hottie culture and would want to ensure teh hottie way of life is preserved by a high level of autonomy. Also it might be a good idea to wait until the Kaneland vs Shadeira and AAC? conflict is over.
Hottie Island requests to join kaneland believing that only Kane can protect their promiscuous ways and defend the Hottie way of life.
With the death of their leader, God and the burning of the flag the remaining states of UP surrender to Stahl. Believing that recent events have served as a clear omen.
UP's burning flag is seen across Rio from the high rooftop as the building collapses.
Caught in a final Clash with Stahl forces in Rio, rebels find themselves trapped in the state legislature is set a light. The fire kills the leading rebels, Patrick Stump and the Spiderpig itself!
UP wins Toastervision 15!
The Stahl Empire creates a 30 kilometre exclusion zone around the ruins of Xehopi.
Jorhan Stahl proclaims himself Emperor and announces the emergence of the 2nd Stahl Empire.
AAC allows The Ceph full access. It has nothing to hide.
The Ceph have temporarily demanded unlimited access to all current colonies on Outland so they can be 'thoroughly inspected'.
Travel to Outland temporarily stopped by the recent nuke. Ptomley's Gate becomes inactive.
Kaneland prepares for war. City militas are mobilized and all bases are ordered to defend Kaneland. The carriers assulting Buccnaeer island retrat to intercept the Lornon Carriers attacking North kaneland
After Kaneland fired a Nuclear weapon at New World, Lornon began a full scale invasion of North Kaneland and the carriers defending Barnegat are encouraged to destroy the enemy and aid with the invasion.
New World military forces head south to escape the blast radius and invade the new Kanish land on the border while citizens flee to unaffected areas in New Land or Aberdeshia.
Kaneland infiltrators are spreading dissent in Wales and encouraging Wales to join the CIS.
After a string of strange events, Loveshack is attacked by soldiers that appear apparently out of thin air. Their mission was unknown, but it is believed they were attempting to assasinate a prisoner named Dr. Yedsem. However, Yedsem escape with a group of unknown fugitives...
UP's aircraft carriers manage to regroup and are ordered that the carrier fleet be scuttled to avoid capture by AAC.
In Rio troops are now surrounded in a government building by Stahl forces. Making a last stand
UP's remaining oil stakes are handed to SE.
Fozamor opts to become a Protectorte of Shaderia, Esfuezero and Agro surrenders to SE.
AAC sends a fleet to try and pirate-style steal some of UP's carriers, while moral is low and confusion is high.
Stahl moves to quickly neutralise UP sending carriers from the Isles of Red to Agro and Fozamor and some carriers supporting SRES move to secure Esfuezero meanwhile on the mainland Rio is being besieged with fears that battle may harm the spiderpig whilst Modrid is the main focus of Stahl forces in the area.
Airborne Carriers Lemons, Anima and Garfunkel travel to SE to provide aid to areas around telford.
Following Stahl's successful nuclear strike on Xehopi, Novak adheres to it's second strike policy and fires a nuke at Telford, obliterating it. SE immediately sends in forces to invade Novak.
Fearing nuclear annihilation the newly formed PRA flees Kalopsia heading north into the communist lands of DPRSJ to lay low and grow in numbers.
Stahl demands unconditional surrender from UP states. Tocaia and Ornago accept this. Having felt the direct impact of the blast, the rest vow to fight on.
Following news of the Stahl invasion of UP, the combined forces of the Dark Crusaders advance upon the SRES held areas of Lupaia, with Thorn and Montras leading the advance - though this has now abated
With its forces stretched over Arsinos and the outland Jorhan Stahl authorizes the use of a nuclear weapon on Xehopi to break UP's morale.
I'm Radioactive, Radioactive[]
State governors are advised by any surviving Federal officials to work in their states individual interest
UP's main fleet turns tail as it approaches FV and attempts to head back to the mainland
The Stahl Federation invades UP fearing for the life of the spiderpig as UP's government threatens to start a nuclear conflict the redloyment of troops will undoubtly help the PRA to establish a foothold in the north.
Amun-Seth sees the need for another voice on UN and re-applies for membership.
Protestors in Kalopsia over power local security forces and declare themselves independent under a new leader. The People's Republic of Andy has returned.
After an operative battle between Bloodstone and Goatie. Goatie is defeated and is drowned in the sea. UP moves to avenge his death my invading AAC mainland with all carriers - UP begins converting its Defensive Mainland silo to Offensive Mode
AAC and Stahl agree to a deal in which both parties get unlimited access to both sides of Ptomleys gate until AAC manages to build one of its own, at which point AAC will hand over the arsinos side of the gate to Stahl. This deal also includes a non-agression pact.
AAC sends almost all of its remaining forces to claim and colonise Blasted Lands. Said force is armed with protective suits to help them survive the harsh conditions.
AAC send in a sizeable force through Ptomley's Gate to colonise Outland, including Violet Bloodstone.
With Marquise de Aversa and Alistaire Crue investigating the Outland, and his partnering general Mortimer Goth practising his skills at the Lake of Fallen Angels , Sacrenoir heads for Barnegat to help fend off the Kanish invasion.
Outland is up for grabs!
A mericulous discovery on Arsinos! A gateway has been discovered in Blasted Lands that leads to a brand new world! This claimable new land, which has been called Outland, is now enterable via Ptomley's Gate. Beware... the UN does not exist inside Outland, and the Ceph will be cautious of newcomers!
Protests spread throughout the northern cities of the federation with the people rallying behind the leader only known as Andy in Kalopsia. The Federation still maintains control for the moment however talk of a new communist state where all are equal is slowing begining to spread throughout the poorer cities of the Federation.
Several important items have been reported missing throughout Arsinos. Experts say it is believed to be the work of a master thief with hooks for hands, given the marks found around the crime scenes.
Revolutionary propaganda is sent in to Kalopsia, telling the former Waxahatchians to rise up against Stahl's oppressive rule.
With substantial military forces deployed in the SRES tensions are rising in the northern states of the Stahl Federation as the people begin protesting against the inequality between the north and south in the Federation. In Kalopsia a new leader as emerged little is known other than his name is Andy.
As a gift to Nigella and Kane for their wedding UP's government gives half of UP's New World territory to Kaneland. Lavigne praises Kane and Nigella as wise and benevolent.
The other half goes to Stahl as a expression of Goodwill
Rebels, who have previously left their home nation's to join the anarchist movement up in the Blasted Lands, have mysteriously disappeared from all sight. They have literally vanished from the face of the planet, with no evidence of their disappearance at all. The Blasted Lands becomes too actively volcanic to ocupy, or even traverse, and so a rescue operation is impossible. Nations are advised to steer well clear of this place for now.
Shaderian carriers at Lornon move to aid the ones already stationed at Barnegat (Formerly Buccaneer Island). Penance and Zalera also join the Shaderian Fleet in defending Barnegat and sinking the agressive carriers. Lornon is put on Red Alert.
Kaneland Carrier fleet assaults Buccaneer island to return it to Greater Kaneland. the war for a small island
DPRSJ sends a carrier to support SRES' invasion of Lupaia, AAC strongly opposes this. There are fears that this may strain the previously airtight relationship between the two nations.
The Stahl Federation deploys large numbers of troops that were mobilzed and on drills near the Novak border to the SRES to defend its protectorate. The operative Colonel Hauser is believed to be accompanying these troops and numerous carriers and ships of the federation's navy are also being deployed to the area.
Novakeroz rebels take the southern barracks and regroup before marching on Havaropol where a huge clash is expected. The Lupovans and Ketevanistanis have minor revolts against Gomez. In response to rumours of the dormant bieber fever in Gomez, Gomez releases "Black Plague" propaganda against Rebecca Black
A series of raids on high security prisons has taken place over the whole of Arsinos with high profile prisoners, many who were placed on death row, going missing. It is unclear how the prisoners have escaped or who is responsible.
The Cookie Monster agrees to an alliance between Pullonia and AAC.
Sameskai Mayor Corrado Verdetti encourages formation of Ingtalian militias
SRES moves forces into south Lupaia
Tom Jones of Wales requests additional funds for militarisation from SE
Amidst the power vaccum in Pullonia, Cookie Monster seizes control in a military coup
Cookie Monster leading the coup through the vast desert
Mayor of Sameskai rejects Dalanian governance
Rebecca Black lies low in Shrewsbury among numerous bomb threats whilst a barracks in the south is seized by rebels along with some ABCs.
Lavigne orders the withdrawal of UP from Lapinland, It is given little to no media attention in UP in an attempt to keep the issue out of the public
On the borders of UP, two Operatives clash. Thorn, of AS, and Goatie, of UP, fight in a deserted former Dog Bollock town. Goatie overcomes Thorn, but Thorn escapes with a broken arm.
In response to concerns from Varjao, Lavigne orders a mobilisation of forces to the Novak's border with the state. Refugee camps are also to be established over the border
Kaneland claims all the oil off the shore of Kaneopolis. Kane Industries begins drilling.
Uranium discovered south of the wrekin, oil discovered off Kaneopolis coast but dries up off south coast of Kaneland
After returning from his holiday on Safari Island, The Witness sees that his church has been completely destroyed and burnt to the ground. Lying amongst the the wreckage TW discovers his Golden Pamphlet has been burnt to a crisp and that there is a broken beer bottle nearby. This must have been the work of The Gingerbread Man! *suspenseful muzak*
Kaneland News corp: The hero of Kaneland has completed a daring mission to avenge kanegella's death at the hands of the Shadeiran butcher they call the witness. While the whereabouts of the witness are unknown and he is said to be in hiding probably abusing young boys the hero burnt down his church and effortlessly fended off the weak attacks of some flying emo kid. This is justice in the making and you heard it here first only on KNC.
Images of a zombified Kanegella are spreading throughout Arsinos, though nobody knows if they are real or a sham.
Kanegella Rising
Moriarty has escaped from prison! And Sherlock is still alive!
Hayley Williams' killer is finally revealed to be her bandmate Jeremy Davies.
In light of recent events in the north the Stahl Federation mobilises troops and conducts military drills near the border with Novak. USS Falke and Adler are also deployed in the vicinity.
Black tweets from the royal red box hotel in Shrewsbury "Omg, in Shrews, can't beleive they still have my statue here #pumped #revolution #yolt" with a selfie
Gomez and SE have tense situation as Gomez sets second strike to telford and the borders become militarised. Rebellions within Novak have begun in the south and the east and some minor rebellions in the Lupovan Republic and Black makes her way to Shrewsbury
Black has been spotted in disguise in Stahl under the psuedonym "Senor Negro"
Senior Negro as spotted in Kasselberg
Sethos decides that it has been a busy time for Amun-Seth, and so declares the next week to be a hibernation and recharge period for all Sethians. Every citizen is deactivated for a week. Elsewhere, in the Blasted Lands, the rebels seem to have mysteriously disappeared… the land becomes painted with a thick fog. Those who enter do not return. Sethos declares it an unsafe zone for the time being, and warns others against trying to enter it.
AS abandons the Blasted Lands to the rebels, not wishing for further bloodshed.
UP construction teams arrive in Landland to begin pumping flood water from Landland international and returning it to an active airport
UP and SE announce two treaties. One economic where by UP has exclusive rights to supply and build SE infrastructure projects in conjunction with SE's government. The other is a joint defense pact assuring mutual protection. UP and SE can also build military bases in each others' territory.
After rebels in the New World continue fighting in the Blasted Lands (named after its already bloody history), Sethos considers abandoning the land to the rebels, which have becoming multi-national in origins. He has failed to establish diplomacy with the rebels as they appear to have to leader or hierarchy of any kind as of yet.
King Solomon sends The Marquise de Aversa and Alistaire Crue to keep things calm in the new world after hearing of Mot's desertion.
After the rebels failed to overtake Shaderia during Solomon's "lichtic ritual" absense, General Mot and his followers flee the Suporcian continent and head to the new world in the hope of creating their own country, they set their sights on the Barrow Downs area for their stronghold.
Abraham Lincoln is announced as the governor of the Shaderian new world after decking a dinosaur in a single punch.
General Vork
Recent news needs to spice up a bit so Solomon sends aid to any Pullonian rebels who do not want to be controlled by the AAC, if they are even attempting to take it. Bitch didn't even update recent news.
Lornonian Prime Minister Zeddie Little sends General's Vork and Bladezz to Buccaneer Island in an attempt to fend off the pirates and talk them out of attacking.
In light of recent UP actions namely suggesting Lornon attack a Stahl Territory, large scale military exercises are held in the around Vettin.
Increasing reports of citizens, especially those in the colonies of the New World, quite suddenly claiming independence and moving up north to the New World, trying to form a new nation out of nowhere. Strange behaviour! Fighting has broken out between the rebels of Amun-Seth and the loyalists. (World Breaker prelude set up, joining in is optional!)
Kaneland deports criminals and poor people to the New World to found a colony. Kanestralia
UP sends SPR Ares to the north coast of Lapinland, and on arrival deploys troops and founds a town on the coast.
Kane boards Kaneforce 1 and goes to the centre of teh Portas ocean to investigate. Kanelands carrier fleet are on standby. Nigella investigates the documents that Jr was working on.
Kane Jr is abducted by mysterious figures after uncovering some mysterious information speculating that Hayley Williams could still be alive...
Extensive cave systems, all of which appear to be ancient and man made, have been discovered by colonists at the New World! Excited by these discoveries, further exploration may reveal more of this underground labyrinth in the future, as many have caved in or are otherwise difficult to explore.
AAC officially renames Geleibte back to Paramoria, as it as the original name, and its just a bit cooler.
Amun-Seth plans to name it's new colonised region Outland, once fully claimed. It puts together plans to build a large CITY IN THE MOUNTAIN!!!!!1!! up in the mountain there named Icecrown Citadel, which will include a ski resort, civilian life and a military presence. It will also contain a silo.
High Level meetings between the Stahl Federation and SRES representitives result in agreements regarding Stahl investments into the SRES. The supercarrier USS Ronald Reagan is sent to aid in the contruction of a new coastal city and port and to deliver aid supplies to this new nation.
Stahl decides to re-militarize the border with UP following UP withdrawl from the defense treaty.
AS pulls troops out of Pullonia and sends the fleet to help colonise the northern continent instead, giving it 2 ABCs, four carriers and two super carriers to help against those pesky dinosaurs. Thorn returns to Devil's Crag. Amun-Seth is no longer a protectorate of Pullonia.
AAC sends a huge fleet to evacuate those still alive in the north of the nuked island. They will be relocated to the area being colonised on the north west continent. A city, New Campesinos, will be built to house them and honour the dead.
With Kaneland booted out of the suporcian oil fields a 7% claim in the total oil has opened up. Any country interested in this should give their name and their reasoning below.
AAC would like to put in a claim for the suporcian oil. Pwetty pwease? We have no economy or military, and need to support those financially who have lost their homes in Los Camp.
Stahl would like a claim due to the recent devastation of its largest city due to the volcano and to help improve ties between Shaderia and Stahl.
Following the pirates raid on Buccaneer Island Lornon was put on Dark Grey Alert and mobilised its forces to defend the mainland from Pirate attacks. Shaderian ships Cyanide and Happiness set sail towards Buccaneer Island to fend off the pirate fleet.
AS also updates it's building plan to include Nadezdi.
Reported sightings of Thorn in Pullonia have been bouncing around various news networks. He was last spotted in the city of Furon, probably working behind the Amun-Seth invasion of the previously Masher-owned country.
Press release by Kaneland News Corp: pirates acquire short range chemical missiles (sufficient for a single strike). It is suspected that the weapons were purchased through arms dealers operating through the Holiday island.
Construction begins on a rienforced bunker to allow Kane to continue leading Kaneland in the event of nuclear war.
Kane Jr is appointed as Kanelands ambassador to AAC.
AAC launches an offcial enquiry into the actions of The Avengers in detonating a nuclear missile so close to its own territory. In other news, the Daft Punk administration who sided with Masher have been escorted to Loveshack, where they will face immediate imprisonment.
Rumours have leaked from western Shaderia that King Solomon has gone missing and that the country is without its beloved leader. Countessa Tamik denounces the claims and says that Solomon is just undergoing an intense lichtic process in order to strengthen the bind his soul has to this world.
Several anti-Solomon groups have decided to rise against the Shaderian government under the lesser death knight known as Mot, though it is expected that Mot's following is small and shall have little effect on Shaderian rule.
Thousands of anti-government protestors die in Reichendorf from some form of toxic gas government officials claim it is a result of the volcanic eruption to the south whatever the cause few now openly protest against the Chancellor.
In response to the sucess of the Avengers, many nations seek to gain such power of individuals themselves. As a result, many have begun training, or already have, Operatives ready for deployment.
Looking forward to the weekend![]
Dalania plan to improve upon the Railcannon and Plasma Cannons used by personnel to operate as large scale defensive units.
Masher is finally defeated, for good, by the Avengers, however they paid a high price. Only two Avengers survived the attack, and the island of Damnos has been the epicenter of an atomic blast.
Mass protests are being held against Jorhan Stahl in Reichendorf after he declared himself Chancellor for life despite the volcanic threat to the south.
The Stahl Federation adds a new piece of equipment to its arsenal the 31inch railway gun, the largest and most powerful gun in Arsinos currently only 2 have been constructed due to huge costs involved with plans to incorporate this huge gun into static defenses and battleships and to possibly sell to foriegn nations.
Kanelandistan rebels claim to have uranium and are demanding the release of their imprisoned leader Seikh Abar Abul Abad al hussein (Known as Abby to frinds) who is currently imprisoned without trial in kanelands high security jail Funland.
In light news, Amun-Seth agrees to host the fifteenth Toastervision in Devil's Crag.
Naval fleets from Amun-Seth, consisting of two carriers, a super carrier and all four airborne carriers, head to northern Pullonia in an attempt to occupy the land and purge it of all remain Machine Cult evidence.
The Devilish Rogue has finally managed to duplicate the transporter abilities of The Doctors TARDIS, but he has yet to immitate the time travel ability. He uses his newly made gadget to save people from volcanoes, and then he drops them off over other volcanoes for a laugh.
Nature gets drunk and volcanoes blow their top all over arsinos.
Derek Acorah, renowned medium who is definitely not a phoney, arrives on Buccaneer Island to try and calms it down. He contacts the spirits of the deceased coco monkeys and discovers that the pirates used them for unspeakable things. The protestors who were once protesting alongside the pirates turn on them for their disturbing behavior.
Environmentalists form Kaneland have landed on buccaneer island and have started a protest against the occupiers who have disrupted the delicate pirate based ecosystem.
John Edwards is barred from entering Shaderia, Lornon and Fusonia under pain of imprisonment. No more will he spread his lies about the deceased. Many of the souls who pass through Shaderia warn the liches of John Edwards' schemes. He is a con-man, a villain, and a fraud. He desecrates the names of the departed and makes a gimmick of death.
AAC tried to clarify on the facebook conversation that we are not at war. Fuck you Stahl. You will pay dearly in the future if you go through with this.
Unsure as to whether they are still at war the Stahl Federation decides to march on New Paramoria cause why the hell not.
AAC officially gives up on the use of facebook for the remainder of the evening, as chat is being a prick, and none of my responses to arguments appear to have sent. So, what I meant to say regarding the UP/UN situation is that AAC is simply speaking its mind on the issue, and would have said the same thing if any nation had made such a proposal.
You could try using wiki chat
The United Nations General Assembly have agreed upon the seperation of land from Bananalon. The lake will be classed as international waters.
The Stahl Federation and UP agree on a new defense alliance against unprovoked or suprise attacks.
The Stahl Federation dispatches the 2nd Fleet to look for the table the motive for this order is yet to be revealed.
Pirate activity has increased off the coast of Lupaia. It is though that with the UN indecisive there may be a slow response.
President (Ex president?) Yanukovych is reported to be hiding in East Shropshire has been offered asylum on the Holdiay Island.
Kaneland intelligence officials are attempting to verify if the Kanelandistan rebels have any Uranium but it is unlikley they could use it unless helped by a third party.
In the interests or economic development kaneland and Stahl begin work on rebuilding the oil platforms off the Coast of South kaneland. The Stahl Engineering team is released and returns to work on developoing the Kaneland Uranium mine which was looted by Kanelandistan rebels during the crisis. It is uncelar how this sitiualtion occured but officials close to the regime suggest that the attack against Stahl was due to a filing error at the ministry of national defence.
As global events calm Stahl moves to deploy its carriers in a more peacetime deployment sending the 1st fleet to the Isles of Red. Meanwhile tensions within Stahl are increasing particularly between the Jorhan Stahl and Admiral Orlock the head of the navy and communist party in Stahl after Jorhan declared himself chancellor for life.
UP leaves the UN to better pursue its isolationist policies.
Sethos, who is revealed to have faked his death in order to trick Masher into publically revealing his existance, returns to Amun-Seth and forcibly retakes control of his country. He declares martial law and awaits for the result of the Avengers battle with Masher.
Following their escape from captivity in Pullonia, the Avengers pursue Masher to Damnos, where they will face the Machine God once and for all. They also recover vital intel concerning Masher's plan. Laura Duccont, who was involved with Masher, is killed by the team. Jim Moriarty is captured and handed over to the UN.
Fusonian forces head towards AS. (Zippy, George, Bungle, Geoffrey and Rainbow as well as land troops and stuff)
Amun-Seth, wishing only to be left alone, will meet all attackers with the full force of its naval fleet.
Stahls 1st fleet defends the western territories whilst the 2nd defends the eastern territories. The army digs in throughout the federation and airforce supports all forces where possible.
Dalania heads towards Stahl.
Shaderian forces head towards Stahl, some Lornonian forces travel through DPRSJ to assist Bananalon and teh Shaderian forces that are fighting there.
Shaderia offers AAC to help win Kalopsia and Tabula Rasa back and stop attacking AAC if they declare Noel is innocent and help force Stahl out of Bananalon. AAC agrees and releases a statement apologising for sentencing Noel to jail for a crime he didn't commit.
As the situation has changed Stahl sees no reason not to occupy Bananalon again sending troops and an airborne carrier.
The Stahl Federation and AAC agree on a deal in which Kalopsia and Tabula Rasa are given to Stahl in return for support against Shaderia.
Shaderia agrees to stop marching on AAC if they name a city after solomon and admit that Noel was not guilty of paedophilia, AAC declines.
Guerrila styled attacks are happening deep within western shaderia, along with a mass of strange grafiti spreading throughout the land. Solomon orders patrols at Pullonia's border to double and ensures refugees from AAC are detained and kept track of in the hope of stopping the attacks.
Solomon issues a statement that Shaderia will continue to attack mainland AAC. "We will sweep from the south, taking Geliebte and Biffy Clyro (from the western most point to X-Axis 3.3). We will try to minimalise death count and use diplomacy with the people where possible. After taking this area of land we will stand fast and stay defensive until we decide what should be done with the land.
As the remnants of the AAC government find their backbone and decide to face the concequences like men Lornon pulls their forces from the Waxa. region, Zeddie Little states:
"We wished to prevent the Steel Tide Tyrant from taking the land, and also make the mutual defence alliance with DPRSJ all the more secure. Now that the AAC leadership appears to lead their people instead of abandoning them Lornon will give them the benefit of the doubt and let them reclaim their land.
A ceasefire is signed between Shaderia and Stahl until the Bananalon dispute is over. Stahl must not begin any defencive constructions on the southern island during this time and its carriers must keep a safe distance from Shaderia's.
The ceasefire does not affect fighting in Waxahatchee or any other location, purely Stahl mainland and Bananalon.
It is the decision of the UNEC that Kaneland must submit to weapons inspections in light of the recent news of a newly created virus.
Shaderian forces begin taking the south Stahlian island and demands that Stahl stop agressive action in Bananalon.
Kaneland defences prepare to sink the Stahl Carrier fleet if it comes within range of Kaneland. The Kaneland carrier fleet after detroying the oli platforms heads off to defend Kaneland.
The Stahl 1st and 2nd fleets head to the Green sea in preperation for a retaliaition against Kaneland.
kane: AS could easily prove its committment to maintaining global stability and the rule of law by joining the force to expel the Warmonger Stahl Federation out of peacefull Bananalon. Kaneland would support teh re-entry of AS into the UN should it wish to rejoin.
Amun-Seth has no wish to rejoin the corrupt and paranoid UN. We will not support nations so easily twisted by a simple criminal. There is just as much evidence of Kaneland and Stahl associating with Masher as there is for AS or AAC... funny how nobody seems to care about them!
Amun-Seth prepares the defence of its land. Aircraft carriers are evenly split to defend against Dalanian and UP assaults. The Sethian fleet moves to defend Damnos. No counter attack is planned and the focus is primarily on defence, with no effort made to defend former AAC's land for now. The Sethian Council remains adament that Masher has 'twisted' the minds of its fellow nations and that Masher does not currently reside in Amun-Seth and never has - they claim that an invasion of AS will achieve nothing, and Masher will remain at large. Despite this, the accusations and evidence against the Sethian Council has caused mass panic among Sethian citizens, with riots and uprisings taking place. Devil's Crag descents into violent anarchy. The Council claims that Masher has achieved his goal - to cause fear and paranoia amongst other nations and start another war.
Images of a new virus weapon developed at farpoint research base are released by Kaneland News Corp.
kaneland gets tired of Stahl growing ever bigger and decides to use the 4 Kaneland carriers to take out the oil rigs south of Kaneland. All the Stahl technical advisors working on developing the Kaneland uranium are also captured and held hostage.
A tapestry depicting the recent plan of king masher, how it was foiled, and the subsequent global evac of AAC superiors.
After the apparant success of Operation Banane Stahl forces launch another operation aimed at securing Waxahatchee, the 2nd fleet blockades the coastline lauching assualts on what was merrythought. Meanwhile the 1st fleet has been deployed to retake Damnos and return it to Stahl hands.
AAC fleet is ambushed after being lured into a trap at SE's Falkland oil field, AAC self destructs its ships and subsequently surrenders its land to AS. Shaderia and Fusonia mean while have been bombing AAC mainland and attack when on the news it has been handed to AS. Meanwhile UP and Dalania launch invasions into AS.
After uncertainty, Dalanian Navy surrounds and beseiges Damnos, while forces advance into AS territory, seeking to take former lupinis territory as far as the city of Nedezdi.
Lornon begins attacking Waxahatchee, that is newly owned by AS.
FusheriAN forces also assist in pure defence at Bananalon with ABC Anima assisting.
the battered remenants of a once proud pirate fleet pull up on the shores of Northern kaneland. they seem to be grumbling baout getting a new leader now that that Sparrow fella has b******* off.
In a speech to thousands of Nationalist supporters in Stahlberg Jorhan Stahl announces laws banning other political parties and elections in the federation citing growing tensions around Arsinos. This suprise move will surely lead to protests in the federation and be seem as a step back to the undemocratic ways of the old empire.
Shaderia's suggestion on land distribution to end the Stahlian-UN War. The Rail signifies the AAC/Stahl border and will hopefully lead into DPRSJ and Novak. Mini Me suggestion that Stahl must replace the B52 ABC, build the new airport, as well as pay for rail construction in order to compensate for damage caused and lives lost.
An attempted suicide bombing by the Cult of the Machine God on Loveshack has been foiled. The cultists are growing desperate in their attempts to gain Bio-Transference.
Kaneland scientists are working on virus technology at farpoint research station. Kane is also interested in developing nuclear power form the newly discovered uranium.
With the Toastervision Contest concluded King Solomon returns to his crypt in Chakrh for some much needed rest.
The Live Final for Toastervision 14 has now been concluded with Novak taking victory at 101 points! Everyone praises Shaderia's impecable job as hosting, and even though Shaderia's entry came last, they are fine and dandy like sour candy.
AAC and UP launch campaign to colonise as much of the South West of the new continent as possible. Lauching ships and resources from AAC mainland and Fozamor
Shaderia and Fusonia seek to claim land in the North West.
The north west continent has seen dinosaur activity reduce to an extent that it has become habitable and explorable, hence the colonisation has begun
The Stahl-Kaneland energy partnership has been extended to Uranium as well as oil. Speaking from a carrier generously donated by Stahl to help the Kaneland Navy combat piracy Kane spoke to the press about how this deal would bring the technology of Stahl and the security arrangements of kaneland to stabilize the volatile region Kanelandistan and provide uranium for use in energy and medical purposes. Kane: I see a bright future ahead of our great nations as we turn that beautiful nuclear glow into a blinding flash of creativity and dynamism to revitalise our economies and bring stability to the region. The stock price of Kane Industries rose after the announcement.
A Durkastani separatist leader is gunned down after making a speech that Durkastan should use its uranium resources to develop itself own economy to make a future Durkistani state viable and called Kane a parasite. Kane announces on state TV that violence in the region will not be tolerated and has sent in the military to protect the citizens of the Durkastan region from violent separatist terrorist. Kaneland is in high level talks with industrialized countries about forming an international partnership to extract the uranium.
After years of faithful service to Shaderia, the aircraft carrier Kronos is retired and inaugerated into the Shaderian Military History Museum as a shining beacon to tenacity and strength.
Amun-Seth, possibly due to mass fear, announces its departure from the UN and leaves. It's military appears to be mobilising.
The Stahl Federation launches Operation Banane, the annexing of Bananalon into the much more capable hands of the Federation.
3 deposits of uranium have been discovered: 1 south of Xehopi (UP), 1 southwest of Skane (Fusonia) and 1 slightly west of Durka (Kaneland)
The Table disappears from whoever had it and people speculate it is in the West Portas Ocean, East of Lornon. Lornonian forces go to investigate the site in the hope of retrieving the table. Scout forces from DPRSJ also leave for the site.
Highly specialised factories unused since the fall of the Stahl empire are reopened the exact product being manufactured is highly classified.
A source claiming to represent Rebecca Black demands President Selena Gomez step down
Santa was shot down, Christmas is over[]
After a brieft conflict combined forces of AAC and UP subdue Wales - ending the Wabbitist War. Wales becomes a joint protectorate of UP and AAC.
Kaneland agrees that with the worsening security situation every country must be free to arm themselves free from costly UN beaureaucracy. Also since the UN couldn't even protect the Table then how seucre are the UNs nuclear weapon/s. kane does not support putting all the nuclear weapons in one basket so to speak.
With his UNEC term almost over Jorhan Stahl and the nationalists regain the majority in recent elections. Upon regaining power Stahl immediately signs an order deporting all UN weapon inspectors from the Federation.
In a freak accident Dr. Horrible has blown himself up when one of his new weapons backfired. He is still alive but sufferes intermittent episodes of split personality disorder, aggression and amnesia.
Kane is attempting to contact the Machine cult to arrange an exchange a deal. He is offering Jr in place of Nigella.
An unknown group of hackers have released Dalanian military communication documents hinting at the initiation of a 'Project Leviathan', though what this project is remains unknown to all but the highest ranking military officials.
The Followers of Toasted Enlightenment spread across Arsinos to all of the countries who have not yet sent their votes. They constantly chant in the language of Toast in the capital cities and will only be appeased by the votes of that nation.
AAC sends a couple of carriers, a fair amount of planes, and a reasonable-ish size land force to attack Buccaneer island.
T
Myleene Klass watches the pirates of Bucaneer Island being slaughtered
he First Lady of Lornon, Myleene Klass, watches with joy as the Shaderian Fleet attacks northern Bucaneer Island in a brutal frenzy.
AAC announces plans to slow down its building projects a little, particularly on main island projects, for fear of ending up in a situation similar to SE. Carriers Jesse Pinkman, Mr Chainsaw, plus airborne carrier Supernatural will be put in reserve to slow down the military budget. In addition, AAC announces plans to build more efficient oil refineries and rigs to increase productivity. All other projects will continue as usual.
Zeddie Little of Lornon requests a pure defence alliance with DPRSJ to protect them both from future attacks. PM Little says that nations really need to stop "stepping on the little guy!" This will take place after the third war of the table has been concluded.
A cease fire of the Isles of Red is called for and Stahl agrees to attack Bucaneer Island with Shaderia if they leave the isle alone. Shaderia leaves some troops near the island incase stahl goes back on the deal and Stahl's 2nd Fleet help Shaderia attack the island. The 1st fleet return to Adelphi.
ACB Anima, Super Carrier Cyanide and Regular Carriers Happiness and USG Executioner start their attacks on the Isles of Red
After a trap set by Jim Moriarty, the Avengers discover Magneto was being blackmailed, and is now dead. The trap also served as a distraction whilst Masher, who appears to have made his first move, killed Sethos and committed a cyber-attack upon ABU, displaying the following message to the entire world, seeking international supports for his genocidal plans.
ABU Broadcast Interupt
Kaneford Port Constriuction begins. Once port is complete it will construct Supercarriers for Kaneland.
Kanegella sends a taskforce to drive off the Shaderian fleet which is bombarding Buccaneer island and endangering the nearly extinct coco monkey.
Stahl forces on alert around buccaneer island launch a suprise attack against Shaderian and Lornonian forces bombarding the island. The 2nd Fleet leads the assualt with close support from Westerau and Scharfenberg Airbases meanwhile the 1st fleet stationed in Adelphi prepares for Shaderian reinforcements from the west supported by Reichendorf Airbase.
Kane Jr is given an ASBO and an electronic tag by Kanegella. He has been told to do 2000 hours of community service while listening to One direction. He is curently removing litter off the beaches of the holiday island. he is being monitored by a team of police to prevent him absconding.
The Pirates engage the Shaderian Fleet off the coast of Buckaneer Island. The Shaderian bombardment has caused some rum to be spilled which has made the pirates really p***** off. "Take no quarter". Meanwhile the other pirate fleet lead by Katy Perry has landed on Lapainland and the pirates are reportedly hiding in burrows waiting for a order from Jack.
Kane Jr attempts to assasssinate his father by activating a poisoned ring that leaves kane is a severley weakend state. Kane is currently recovering on the holiday island and Kanegella has ascended to leader. kane Jr has been put into the holday island and will soon be transported to the mainland.
Kane Jr assasinates his wife, Harry Styles, with one shot to the head on The Holiday Island in the name of the machine god . He tries to escape, but is quickly caught by Kaneland authorities.
The guards from the Loveshack museum capture Russell Brand and steal a Yacht, leaving behind their jobs to plunder the seven seas for cocaine and wenches. The leader of the guards is a man named Barbossa.
Kanelands environmental commission complans that Shaderia is damaging the endmic flora and fauna fo Buccaneer island and committing a crime against the environment.
After the Pirates stole the table from The Loveshack Solomon swore to destroy them. After a randocratic vote Lornon agreed to offer assistance and so their navy, alongside the Aircraft Carrier (Kronos) and SuperAircraft Carrier (Valhalla) from Shaderia, initiate a barrage upon Buccaneer Island. Edward Leech, brutal pirate of the Suporcian Seas also offers his services to King Solomon as long as he can loot the island for himself.
Dave Grohl, AAC president, has been reported missing. A note is found in his office saying that he just can't take the hatred directed towards him since the false accusations of paedophillia and has decided to end it all. It is written in blood. Elections are due to start tomorrow. His VP, Doctor Who, will not be standing as president owing to prior commitments involving the Wabbito/Welsh war.
Despite initial protestations, Kane Jr decides to accept Harry Styles as his wife, and gives him a ring, which is quickly stolen by Kane. They head to the holiday island for their honeymoon.
Kane Jr gets married to Harry Styles from One Direction the highly popular musician
Alec is found dead aboard an abandoned ship that ran aground on the shores of Loveshack. He was burned alive inside a brazen bull. On the bull is written the words 'GLORY TO THE MACHINE GOD!'.
A huge explosion in Cabra seemingly killsTaylor Swift and Carly Rae Jepsen, presidents of Novak & UP respectively. Catwoman is spotted fleeing the scene.
Many Sethians are going on strike over the leadership crisis. Sethos has put those who strike in prison, and issuing harsh penalties to those who cause disruption. Magneto, meanwhile, seems to have disappeared.
Pirates are sighted near Loveshack island. possibly on their way to Wales or Lapainland.
The pirates accept Katy Perry (now a man for the purposes of being a pirate) as a pirate after the quits as vice president to go roving the sea with Capatin Jack. In the process Perry marries Russel brand whi was picked up the the pirates white they were raiding DPRSJ. Katy Perry is considered to be the UP Artefact.
The undead prostitutes from Shaderia become hungry and consume the genitalia of many pirtates whilst performing sexual favours.
Pirate 1: It was worth it.
Pirates accept Stalin Doggs Bong as the artefact for DPRSJ and then try to steal Stalin Doggs light saber as well. The pirates head off to UP and are nearing the end of their quest.
A propaganda compaign is launched to increase support for Wales against the Wabbits.
Relationships between Sethos and Magneto suporters are worsening in Amun-Seth. Civil war looks like a certainty at this point. Magneto orders to construction of a naval and military base on Damnos in order to prepare.
Pirates accept the holy Toilet seat from Salopian empire and stop off at the Falklands/Tacovinas to load up on mexican food. Then it is on to DPRSJ. Captain Jack intends to integrate the seat into a pirate throne on Buckaneer Island
Kaneland gets a new Flag
Protests break out in kaneland over UN membership.
Toastervision 14 Submission Deadline is announced to be February 1st, don't delay, submit today!
The pirates in Dalania make off with Railas's helmet as the Dalania artefact. The pirates are reportedly heading for Salopian Empire.
Pirates arrive in lapinland and offer their services for a price.
Kaneish Arm's dealer with ties to the Kaneland regieme arrive in Wales to sell weapons.
A woman was saved from a burning building just outside of Kalopsia. Reports flood in that she was saved by Captain Hammer.
Dalanian weapons technicians have publicly announced the development of a number of battlesuit variants following the testing carried out by Ozriel Kais.
Strange, faint pulses are being sensed from deep within the un-named sea. The existence of the pulse is strictly top secret and a quarantine has been placed in the un-named sea.
Having reached Lupinis' capital, the Steel Tide are ordered by Magneto to advance even further, to take everything west of the second river as well.
Oil is discovered
Solomon bathing in oil
just south of Shaderia and Shaderia/Fusonia, AS/Pullonia, Dalania and the SE all go to get some oil, with Shaderia taking the biggest share. In light of the new discovery, and the lowering of reliance on AAC supplies, King Solomon sends the AAC a picture of him bathing in a bathtub of the precious black goo.
A statue of Dr Horrible is erected in Solarchapel in celebration of Shaderia's Toastervision win and his general work on the UNEC.
As a result of the lives lost and the general carnage on Loveshack, the mass media and the general public are blaming the Avengers for the lives lost. With the team five members down, Sethos has made the difficult decision of disbanding the group and allowing the Avengers to return to their normal lives, with their identity intact. The Avengers, it seems, are no more...
Sethians gather in the streets of Devil's Crag in anticipation of the Toastervision result. Even machines get excited by the magic that is TV.
While the Toastervision 13 final happens, emmisaries from AAC, UP, Novak, DPRSJ, Shaderia and Stahl all congregate in Telford to watch and discuss the event.
It is now acceptable to talk about Christmas (but please don't)[]
Magneto pushes harder into Lupinis, offering no quarter and threatening to obliterate anything that does not get out of the Tide's advances fast enough.
Lupinis retreats from its west under invasion from the Steel Tide. They evacuation people and resources, destroying technology they can't take but leaving structures and land intact
Laina is appointed overly-attached-foreign minister and Selena Gomez is appointed as Swifts heir.
Jeremy Davis of Paramore is also running for Geliebte mayor. He is expected to find favour with non-Germanic voters.
An Austrian artist has become a huge sensation in Geliebte, AAC. Due to the cities love of him, his views for a better world and his dislike of juice it is speculated that should he run for the mayoral office he will practically be running unopposed.
After The Devilish Rogue was spotted in Northern Dalania, a group of cloaked assassins, led by The Silent Shadow , went to destroy him once and for all. After capturing, and murdering, several of the Rogues high ranking benefactors they discovered that he planned on tainting the water supply with LSD and then followed him to a bustling city where his plan would take place. A large scale fight ensued between the Assassins and the Rogue's extensive army of midget henchmen, who bared an uncanny resemblence to the Rogue and McCall. There were many casulties in the fight, including several civilians when the battle leaked out into the streets.
The Silent Shadow followed the rogue into an abandoned warehouse while the other assassin's took care of the henchmen. As she entered through one of the doors a trap was triggered and the warehouse exploded. The Shadow was partially burnt in the blast but her fast reflexes and fire resistant cloak reduced the damage considerably. As she lay on the floor, vision still fuzzy from the heat, The Rogue stood over her with a dagger in his hand. He plunged it into the Shadow's left arm and listened to her scream with a sado-masochistic joy. He pulled the dagger out and brought it down towards her chest when a bullet tore right through his palm, sending the dagger flying and keeping The Shadow from harm. The other Assassins had come to her aid. Howling in pain the Rogue eloped, using the old machinery, flames and smoke to avoid the onslaught of assassin bullets and arrows. The Shadow survived but the injury was bad. She returned to their base in order to recover.
Amun-Seth's Steel Tide invades Lupinis, with it's four airborne carriers, with the goal of ocupying everything west of the river running down the center, including the city Nadezdi.
Magneto has foiled a cultist plot to send a bomb down the Amun-Seth HSR to Loveshack. These attacks are getting more daring. AS's prison, The Spire, is filling up with the bastards.
Burt Reynolds decides that he's going to be king of Fusonia. He challenges PM White Joe to a fight but Priminister Joe knows when to back down. Many Fusonian's are confused as it doesn't have a monarchy and never has, but Reynold's demands to be king and most people are happy to go along with it. White Joe will stay as Prime Minister but it looks as though his power will be quite limited.
King Solomon is very suspicious of Fusonia being run by a monarch and travels to Fusonia to find out what is going on.
Sethos has discovered that Jim Moriarty is currently organising the Cult of the Machine God and their attacks. This news is extremely worrying. Many believe that Jim was a key figure in helping Masher's rise to power in the Dog Bollock days.
The Stahl Federation in line with a more isolationalist and economic agenda places roughly half its navy, an airbase and a third of the army into a reserve status to lessen the militarys burden on the economy.
The Avengers are attacked at their new HQ, the aircraft carrier Shield, by Laura Duccont, who uses her puppet Hayley Williams to defeat the team whilst she summoned a storm to bring the carrier down. However, the Avengers defeated Hayley and Duccont fled the scene. Helsing refuses to excorsise Hayley to save her, resulting in some tensions between the team.
Dave grohl is tried and acquitted of all charges relating to Paedophillia. He is returned to his job as AAC president. Noel Edmunds is found guilty of indecent assault and child abuse, and is sentenced to 30 months imprisonment in a UN facility, while being stripped of all power.
Sethos makes a worrying anouncement - the pro-Masher religion, the Cult of the Machine God, has turned extremist. The worldwide organising has starting bombing government buildings, upper class estates and technology centers. Devil's Crag has reported two attacks publically, but there have been three others that are not public knowledge. (Trying to start a big Avenger storyline with this - feel free to join in and annouce cultist activity or whatever to big it up! Masher isn't involved, just the cult)
After the loss of two carriers in the Saturday war anger towards the current nationalist party in Stahl results in elections with the republican party led by Ronald Reagan regaining control of the government after a disasterous attempt to intervene in Lupinis.
Jepsen with the consent of Up's national assembly delays elections until hurricane McCall is over and relief is delivered in "full" to Agro
Avril Lavigne use of her "Rock n Roll" video proves popular with voters but Perry counter attacks using squirty cream.
SPS Xehopi sent to Agro to lead relief efforts UP also orders more supplies to be sent via its navy and Home Guard divisions to aid rescuers.
President Jepsen visits Fozamor to mak its return as UP protectorate she plans to go to Agro when the storm has cleared. Leaving Vice President Perry to deal with the Saturday war and reelection campaign.
A group of adventurers who had been exploring in the un-named sea drift towards Fozamor. Out of the seven only one man is alive, the others have been brutally murdered with makeshift weapons. The lone survivor seems to have gone insane, he is talking to people who are not there, is incredibly paranoid and has sliced strange markings into his skin. Whenever he is questioned the only thing he says is "Make us whole."
Magneto seems highly suspicious by this news. The leader of the Steel Tide goes on a personal mission to locate this survivor and 'study' him at the Spire. Humanly, of course.
Solomon sends a "house-warming" gift to Kane to welcome him to New Kaneland. It consists of 20 concubines, a segway encrusted in saphires and a box of "after-eight" mints.
A huge hurricane appears in The Loveless Ocean, it appears to be heading East. Argo and SE will be severely affected.
After receiving no information since the vessel crashlanded people from all over Arsinos are demanding to know what landed in the Wharrgarbl Sea. The Shaderian government says that it was just an old satellite but people are still not convinced. Rumours are starting to fly.
The Stahl 1st fleet launches raids against military targets in Rio and Zoio with border forces on high alert.
UP invades eastern Lupinis aiming to create a corridor to cut off Stahl supply lines.
The pirates land in Dalania but after failing to decide on any artefact that symbolizes Dalania they decide to move on to AAC.
AAC decides to annex the land it has taken in the Saturday war and officially stop fighting.
The Stahl Federation sends reinforcements to the Saturday war including the new airborne carrier USS Westerau.
French becomes an official language of Shaderia alongside Black Speech, Mongolian, Cat and Middle Age English.
After burning down the Rainforest of New kaneland the UN occupiers sieze Patrice Wilson and extradite him to Novak where he will not face a fair trial. The UN refuses compensation to Kaneland and adds further insult by insisting that Kaneland will be suspended for a"Week or two" which is an obvious ploy to prevent UN reform which is what Kane was campaigning for. Overall this has left the people of Kaneland with a lasting hatred for the UNEC which Kane believes is a authoritarian beaurocratic monstroity that is reclessly abusing its power to use UN troops to follow laws that it narrowly interprets while being completley hostlile to being questioned and making itself effectivley unanswerable by suspending members who criticize it on trumped up charges of breaking international law. Kane believes that if he does not have a legitimate outlet to voice his concerns he has no option but to bring the rage of the people agaisnst the UNEC in a more direct way.
After a standoff with the UNEC in which Kaneland is suspended (again) Patrice Wilson flees in a plane to the rainforests of New kaneland where he is searched for by UN troops and Kaneland security forces.
Stahl Federation and New Kaneland in recognition of the value of mutual cooperation establish joint ownership of the oil in the Southern Green Sea. High level talks on future development are said to be taking place.
Kaneland News Corp announcement: Old Kaneland fell due to moral decline and a dependance on mundane technology. New kaneland be founded on the new religion of Kaneism and a hard working people shall unite to build a proeperous country.
Death and Emma Stone of the UNEC, as per the UNGA resolution, have allocated the large island in the south east of Arsinos as "New Kaneland". Kane is given this land to run as he sees fit.
Magneto mobilises the Steel Tide to the border of UP and Stahl, in order to add defense. Two airborne carriers are kept in reserve at the UP/Stahl border.
The Stahl Federation joins the Saturday war aiming to liberate occupied Lupinis and push north to join up with Lupinis forces. Stahl's force is led by two airborne carriers whilst troops along the UP border prepare for any counter attacks.
The Stahl Federation order troops along the borders of North Kanelander and west Vetlander to dig in whilst deploying more troops to the border with Lupinis.
Masher's followers finally make a hostile move - an advanced supercarrier is stolen from Amun-Seth and sets sail into the Whargarbl Sea. AS fleets have followed the ship, but it has completely disappeared from sight. Sethos expresses doubt that Masher himself is even leading these cultists, but rather that they are just fanatics.
Taylor Swift Hires Heston Blumenthal to creat a giant falafel in Al Falafel
Operation Swiftmas a success whilst LNP in Novak rallies against the war
The "Horrible Death Stone" is elected as the 4th UNEC
Pirates decide to branch out into mercenary work call the pirates today for a quote!!!
Weren't the Pirates originally mercenaries for Kaneland? They're moving up in the world.
In the time of transition KLF activists attack government buildings.
Its Changeover day in Al-Falafel, old roadsigns are being removed and driving on the right is now being enforced
Kaneland liberation front creates a logo.(shown on the right)
The pirates decide to visit London (Pullonia) with the intent of stealing the london eye and returning it to Buckaneer bay). This may be part of a plan to aquire artifacts from every nation.
The Kaneland liberation Front has been formed in former kaneland. It's primary objective it to restore the teritorial integrity of Kaneland and allow Kane to return as leader. (the party funding appears to be coming offshore). A spokesman says that while they do not suppot volence they will do whatever is neccessary to acheive their objective.
New Salopians are asking the Salopian Empire to liberate their fellow countrymen from AAC oppression.
New Salopia belongs to UP now.
The Salopians burn UP flags and are chanting down with UP. You cannot trade us around like meat at a marketplace. This is our land and will die defending it or do you know nothing of honor. Salopia will rise again.
New Salopian citizens send a request to Salopian empire to emigrate their citizens to Shropshire.
Stahl forces withdraw and are more evenly deployed across entire border to reduce tensions in the area.
Kane Jr gets scared, and misses his dad. He tries to flee for the holiday island, but his cabinet stop him. He goes and cries in the corner, not being cut out to govern land. He gives a small slither of land to AAC as part of Waxahatchee (connecting Waxahatchee to the sea by the DPRSJ border), and out of distress, panic, and frustration with AAC's incompetence and Stahl's bullying, puts the rest up for auction on a random number generator.
1-10 SE
10-20 Shaderia
20-30 Novak
30-40 Dalania
40-50 Kaneland
50-60 UP
60-70 Amun-Seth
70-80 Lupaia
80-90 Lupinis
90-100 Scorched Earth
The number comes out as 56, meaning almost all of KaneJrLand is given to UP! Kane Jr then flees to the holiday island in the hope that his dad will have him back.
Stahl returns fire with ICBMs of its own fired at Kalopsia
AAC takes this personally, and ICBM's Stahlberg, while mobilising the fleet. (Seriously, can't Stahl go one week without starting a war of some kind?)
The Stahl Federation invades KaneJrland citing outstanding debts from Kanejrs stay in the federation. Using troops that have been massing in north Kanelander for weeks Stahl creates two invasion fronts one to the east and one to west of Bananalon. The eastern invasion heads for merrythought led by the USS Port Kanetown whilst the western invasion is led by the USS Vettin. The Stahl 2nd Fleet is deployed in the northern Green sea area in preperation for any counter strike from the AAC Navy whilst the 1st fleet remains in Adelphi.
A UFO lands in the south of the Wharrgarbl Sea, Fusonian and Shaderian forces have gone to investigate the crash site.
In New Salopia people are on strike and are attempting to occupy government buildings. "The people demand the fall of the regime"
Theres only so much we can do to appease New Salopia, we're not giving it back.
The New Salopians are demanding a bigger cake and their independence and says that the AAC leadership is out of touch with their needs.
AAC offers New Salopians cake. It also sends the military there to make sure any protests don't get out of hand.
The Silent Shadow's identity is revealed
Mayor Towlie drives his car into an AAC checkpoint and begins a revolution in new Salopia to reestablish the sovereignty of that territory.
The Devilish Rogue is furious at his defeat in the cave beneath The Big Brother House and is distraught to have learnt that Davina McCall, the one woman he loved, has died. Only moments after the initial news reports of the BB house being destroyed the airways were highjacked by The Devilish Rogue and he sweared to avenge his beloved. "My first act of redemption is shining the light in the shadows," he says through tears as he holds up a picture of Davina. Amanda Duchamp is The Silent Shadow , and I shall bring her fall." Footage from inside the BB house is then shown, revealing the Shadow's appearance.
The Avengers are kidnapped and forced into the Big Brother house! Luckily, they managed to overcome the challenges they faced and save the world a third time. However two Avengers, Barney and Stephen Hawkings, did not survive the final battle.
Rissitance to Stahl grows in kaneland as people demand the return of their sovereignty.
An odd development - hundreds of people are gathering at the Big Brother house in hysterical excitement. The festival buzz surrounding the building would leave one believing that a new series of the show is about to start. Upon being interviewed, however, the crowd simply screams and cheers, instead of answering questions. Many have screamed so much their vocal chords have snapped and bled, leading to a few fatalities. However, the situation seems to be vaguely under control. People are wondering… what on earth is going on, and who are the new house members going to be?! [Avengers Mission tommorow from 6!]
In a move the improve ties with Lornon the 2nd Fleet of the Stahl Federation sails for Thane.
The Stahl Federation begins massing troops in north Kanelanden and annexes the pirate island near Port Kanetown.
A combined force made up of AAC, Dalania, Amun-Seth and Pirates blow the crap out of SE's oil rigs. SE sends ICBM's to AAC's oil rigs, which are heavily defended. SE mobilises its grand fleet, and AAC, Dalania & Amun-Seth mobilise their land armies.
Riots break out in Port Kanetown as the alcohol supply runs dangerously low.
The Kaneish Liberation Coalition form with the intention of insuring that Stahl listen to the international orders they have faced, either by diplomacy or force should it ultimately be necessary.
The Stahl Federations 1st fleet is deployed in Reichendorf whilst the 2nd fleet maintains its current deployment in Port Kanetown. Aircraft from Scharfenberg Airbase have been deployed to Kanesvilles airport to aid in any attack on the city whilst troops are deployed to the three main cities.
The Stahl Federation demands that UN peacekeepers leave as they are no longer needed.
Saturday unexpectedly flops at number 63 on the AAC charts. Experts blame the fact it was released on a Sunday.
Today is the 7th anniversary of Mapzor! Celebrations are occuring all around Arsinos! Here's to another 7!
Deceased President Rebecca Black has been depicted in song and music video Saturday [a prequel to her revered Friday] along with "Dave". This skyrockets to number 1 in Novak and The United Provinces and causes a torrent of conspiracy theories around her death and the song. "Dave" has reportedly been arrested in Rio and extradited to Novak with alleged torture involved in his interrogation. There are also unverified reports of RBs body being exhumed but there is currently a lot of secrecy in Novak regarding this issue. Novak also vows to persue alleged Paedo Patrice Wilson more aggressively. Meanwhile the video also depicts an imitation of Miley Cyrus which angers the real Miley Cyrus who breaks into the presidential palace of Cheryl Cole [UP] like a wrecking ball and crushing Cole. A new UP president will be selected at random as per her wishes.
AAC announces that the city in waxahatchee on the river aiight will be named Kalopsia, and that road and rail networks will be built connecting it to merrythought, new falafel, and DPRSJ.
Magneto is anounced as the sucessor to Sethos and the future lord of Amun-Seth. He is placed in charge of the Steel Tide.
kanegella is born to proud parents Kane and Nigella on the Holiday Island private hospital.
Kanegella
kane expects great things of her.
A recent poll suggests that most kaneland people say Kane Jr lacks the qualities of Kane and they want Kane to return. In a seperate poll AAC was rated as the most uncool country in Arsinos.
Really, AAC is less cool than Stahl?
After being bombed and killed for the last few weeks it will take more than promises of equality and investment to make the Kaneland people discard their national identity and sovereignty and cosy up to the Stahl Federation. Expect resistance. Some citizens are starting a vidual round thestatue of Kane.
The Federation votes to keep the statue of Kane and repurpose the stadium whilst also allocating extra funding to demolish the slums and rebuilt Kanesville into a modern city inline with the rest of the federation. The experimental reactor complex in Kanye Westville will also be mantained and used by the federation.
The Stahl Federation forms the recently acquired territory into the state of Kanelanden giving it the same rights as any other state in the federation.
the Salopian people in New Salopia are demanding independence and an end to the injustice of AAC oppression.
In response to Kane, Kane Jr states that he would have defended Kanejuniorland if anyone else had come to aid him in his attempts to rid the fascist scum from the area. Stahl had two very powerful allies, whereas AAC was the only country who would protect Kanejuniorland.
In a move widley regarded as a sign of weakness kane Jr makes a deal with Stahl Federation and splits KaneJrLand in half with the Upper half being absorbed into AAC and teh southern half going to Stahl. Kane: " You have got to be S****** me".
In response to New Salopia being overun by AAC, Mayor Towlie of Merrythought city decides to get a little high.
Some people in Telford have begun learning French in anticipation of the UN proposal "Vive le Telfordeois!"
Archeologists in Sakeskai have found ancient artworks and sculptures that suggest the previous inhabitants had a bizzare cock obsession, as depicted by their flag.
Worrying reports - a worldwide increase in various underground gatherings that seem to be Culists of the Machine God, the potentially dangerous pro-Masher religion.
kane deciedes that Kane Jr needs to learns some responsibility so while Kane goes to the Holdiay island to get high and escape the endless conflicts in Kaneland Kane Jr is put in change and promptly makes kaneland part of AAC and renames Kaneland as kaneJr land.
Kaneland launches a new wave of poweful veichles against the Stahl imperialists.
The Federation opens a new Nuclear research facilty near Taunusstein, purely for peaceful purposes.
Please vote in the 2013 Arsinos Awards, it'll be a nice way to celebrate 7 years of Mapzor on Sunday 8th December (which is also voting deadline).
Following the abandonment of the Dalanian EMP project, technicians begin developing new armour systems to benefit soldiers in battle. The first prototypes should be tested later this week.
Taylor Swifts popularity in Novak has skyrocketed after The Hunger Wars . She will soon tour Novak with the tour ending in Isimzia where she has begun an investigation into the recent dissents there
On a secret mission, Sethos is attacked and easily defeated by Masher. The unconscious leader is found and returned to Amun-Seth - his systems are rebooting but it will take some time. Amun-Seth is in disarray as it tries to find someone to fill Sethos' shoes until he recovers.
Upon becoming Chancellor Jorhan Stahl announces extra funding towards classified military projects in particluar the Uranprojekt details currently highly classified.
Election results in Stahl Federation Jorhan Stahl of the Nationalist party elected as chancellor with the Republicans losing many seats due to recent events.
UP and AS create the Treaty of Sesame Street, involving the construction of an AS embassy in UP (And a UP embassy in AS), an exchange programme between students of the universities and a trade agreement.
AAC and Stahl reach free trade agreement, as Stahl prepares to invade New Salopia.
Slashing through the snow where dismembered bodies lay, spreading christmas woe, it's the perfect time to slay!
AAC citizens take offense to the word slay being used so casually, so soon after Buffy's death.
Van Helsing unsuccessfully attempts suicide given the trauma sustained from the demon-rape incident. He is under 24 hour counselling in AAC. He has become a solitary and dishevelled figure, not the eager and brave Avenger he once was.
Technically Van Helsing was only an Avenger once...
World Peace Ends[]
Kane Jr joins Stahl's efforts to take down Kane, citing the fact that they never let him do what he wants, and that he's not a kid anymore and has his own life.
AAC makes free trade agreements with both UP and Amun-Seth.
Dalania and AS enter a military and free trade alliance, involving a sharing of armed forces and resources. It is named the Treaty of the Dark Crusaders.
Amun-Seth invades the island of Kiel. A non-violent solution is found, and Stahl citizens and forces can leave the island and AS is free to ocupy it. Kiel is renamed to Damnos under AS control. AAC is given control over their half of the island back.
AAC surrenders Al'Falafel to Novak, whilst maintaining a small amount of land to found New Falafel
Temporary ceasefire declared by Stahl who annexes gains. THough everyone is certain after the toastervision the war will re-ignite
With the war in Kaneland shwoing no sign of ending kane encourages the Kanekand people to enter military service
The Avengers sucessfully foil a plot by Masher and Duccont to destroy the world using demon's of Khorne. However, both the criminals escape and go into hiding. It turns out Duccont used the people of Amun-Seth to free Masher, whilst Sethos was captured, so that he could build her another Steel Tide. However, Masher taught her to summon demons instead. The demons, for now, have been banished from Arsinos when the Silent Shadow sunk a dagger into the Arch-Demon's head. Word that Masher is still at large, and equipt with a new robotic form, has caused mass fear.
Masher returns...
Following an attack on Amun-Seth by Demons of Khorne, which seem to be coming from the Island of Doom and were summoned by Laura Duccont, Van Helsing urges Sethos to assemble theAvengers in order to invade the island and destroy the Arch-Demon. Helsing wishes to learn how Duccont learnt to summon demons and why she would do such a thing. If left unchallenged, the demonic infestion could spell global disaster.
AAC civil war essentially ends. President Dave Grohl promises to call elections within the next week, as both sides become disillusioned with why they're actually finding, along with most rebels suspecting Laura Duccont has ulterior motives. This, coupled with the destruction of the AAC government has led many rebels to give up arms, along with President Grohl offering peace and civility. Van Helsing has urged world leaders to put Laura Duccont's name into an anagram solver.
Unusual activity on the Island of Doom. A thick red haze surrounds the island, blanketing the air from the sea to the sky in a hurrendous fog. Communication in and out of the Island was utterly impossible. Any attempts at entering the fog to find the island simply lead to the aircraft or ships simply disappearing and never returning...
AAC parliament building explodes and scatters itself into many pieces, along with a fair amount of Fort Vegasopolis' centre. It is suspected that this action came from the rebels who moved south. As the government were in session, it appears that the majority of the government were killed.
The battle of Deftonesville between the Aprillian rebels and the AAC army is well underway. So far neither side has made great advances, though AAC look to have the upper hand with better resources and the help of Stahl. It also seems to appear that some of the Aprillians have escaped south into mainland AAC during the carnage. Meanwhile, Van Helsing has been spotted in Aprillia. He is not fighting in the battle of Deftonesville, but instead he appears to be looking for something, or perhaps someone...
New Salopia send an armoured column to Kaneland to help with the defence of Kanesville but otherwise dig in to resist the AAC counterattack. Pirates after picking up some Aprilla refugees deiced to resupply by raiding the lighlty defenced Stahl coastline.
Pirates arrive in Aprilla and offer to evacuate anyone who wishes to make a life for themselves on the seas plundering for a living.
In response to the attack, AAC ICBMs Kanyewestville and sends Elastic Pipeline and Blue Carolina to bomb Kaneland and New Salopia. Stahl stops supporting Aprillia and aids in the attack on Kaneland, ICBMing Kanesville. AAC sees this as an opportunity to attack Aprillia in the north with the remainder of their force. AAC aint takin' shit from no-one no more.
Stahl Federation throws its forces agains the fortress line of South Kaneland and predictiby sustain high casulties while hardly advancing.
Aprillian prisoners are freed from prison camps but a shady looking guard. Prisoners are then given arms and proceed to kill and capture all of the guards, who they hugely outnumber. The Island Of Doom becomes Aprillian territory.
The Stahl Federation invades southern Kaneland with the aim of securing all territory south of the river whilst not including Kanesville.
Kane Industries launhes a new breakfast cerial. Try Crikles today!
They taste like Bigfoot's dick.
Extremely Creepy 1960s Cereal Commercial
Sethos' meditations have been troubled lately. Trouble is brewing. Something bad is going to happen, soon... he predicts that the call for the Avengers shall have to be made once again to save the world... [Saturday, 6:00pm! If you can't make it and want to it can be a different time!]
A Novak-Kaneland-NS allience invades the AAC mainland area of DPRSJ and Al'Falafel each with its own expansionist aims. The war begins with a special forces strike on Ravetown airport followed by airstikes on infrastructure designed to delay the arrival of reinforcements. Kaneland and NS advance on DPRSJ whilst Novak sends in troops to Al'Falafel
AAC prepares to take seige of Deftonesville from Aprillia.
The birth of Kane Junior leads to much rejocing in kaneland. The first family of Kaneland want some time way from the cameras and Kane has proposed to Nigella offering a ring that is reportedly worth more than the GDP of Stahl.
Sethos confirms that the Sethians who have sided with the Aprillia government are all members of the Cult of the Machine God. He allows them to do as they please, but should they choose to return to Amun-Seth they will be expected to prove their loyalty again through trial by combat.
Novak conflict resolved shadily, elections held
The Steel Tide are called back to Amun-Seth by Sethos. However, for mysterious reasons, the majority of the Steel Tide remain in Aprillia.
Mr.T of Novak is saying that the Church of lunacy must allow control of Isimzia to be restored to the central government or face exclusion from the upcoming elections, as negotiations begin on settling the internal struggles. Novak forces are surrounding Isimzia. Mr.T has told Lupinis it is responsible for allowing communist factions within it to supply the Isimzian seperatists and says Novak will not negotiate with Moonmoons Willist captors until they do so. In the meantime it is expected the seige will be drawn out, the govt forces will not want to enter the city, instead keeping it under seige. This is due to Isimzia being trade dependent but also because it is an ancient site and people are reluctant to do battle if it would destory it
Sethos, in a move that goes against his very principles, orders the immediate release of the war criminal Masher from Amun-Seth prison. It is later revealed that the real Sethos was captured. He escapes, however, and returns to Amun-Seth to track down Masher. The Avengers briefly re-unite to help the search, but by this time it is too late. He's gone.
Aprillian forces start to form a border surrounding the areas formerly occupied by Dog Bollock. The start hanging up flags.
Road to Zoio[]
Kaneland officially wins the Toastervision 12, and it has been confirmed they will host Toastervision 13. The winning song was Nemo by Nightwish.
It is confirmed that LibAc rebel leader April Harrison died in the massacre. New rebel leader Laura Duccont swears vengeance for her old friend. It has been rumoured that the two were lovers. Other rebel leader Matthew Boulton is detained in the Island Of Doom. The rebels retreat to Deftonesville, the abandoned city, where they are joined by the steel tide, the Amun Seth military forces, and the Stahl carrier SS Kiel. In honor of their former leader, the force is named Aprillia.
It appears unrest in UP is as far as it goes and there is no desire to openly fight the state.
Dalanian and AAC embassies in UP attacked and burned
An minister from Nigella's government has been seized and taken by an angry mob and on interrogation the minister admits to rebels that UP's previous government covered up their problems securing aircraft carriers from Sethos and that loggers only left because of Nigella's personal relationship. Not due to effective government policy.
On hearing of Hayley's death angry crowds gather outside UP's government assembly building. Furious that they allowed her to go
Following the violent massacre of AAC citizens, Hayley Williams is killed by gunfire.
UP government is dissolved in the run up to elections. Nigella makes her final speech in UP's assembly on the many different types of tart. She then departs with her lover Kane to Kaneland. In preparation for the birth of her baby.**A royal wedding would be hilarious.
Loggers move out UP into Stahl.
Nigella and Kane fall in love (Nigella seems to like bald men) and get busy in her kitchen.
In order to quell the rebellion, Sethos himself and a unit of Steel Tide guards fly to AAC to act as Hayley Williams' guard. He plans to try and save as many lives as possible and restore order. The military in Amun-Seth is mobilising as a precaution.
Hayley Williams arrives in AAC to help calm the situation down diplomatically. Rioters and protesters (Now calling themselves Liberation Action, or LibAc for short) are caught plotting a gunpowder attack on the AAC assembly buildings in Fort Vegasopolis. They are tried without jury and immediately flown to a top secret military prison camp, on the Island Of Doom. The news sparks fear of a full scale rebellion in many corners of AAC, with a McCarthy-esque witch-hunt of LibAc sympathisers, occurring nationwide, particularly in very pro-government cities such as Biffy Clyro & Paramoria. This in turn radicalises many members of the LibAc.
Sethos is growing concerned over a rising Sethian religion, the Cult of the Machine God, that worships the genoical war criminal, Masher, as a God and would see him set free. Though the cult claims to be entirely non-violent, they could present a risk as Masher supporters.
Troubles in AAC worsen as calls for the current government to step down by rioters and protesters are being ignored. The protesters claim that the government have long exceeded their term, and with the death of Buffy, the leader that the people voted for is no longer in place. The government and their supporters claim that times are too turbulent for the country to consider staging an election, especially after the devastation caused by the war of the table and the death of the president. Cities Don Bronco and (the already troubled) Fort Vegasopolis are rife with rioters and protests, with the government hinting that if they continue, they will have to involve the military.
Amun-Seth and Pullonia accepted into United Nations
New Salopian missionaries are said to be responsible for teh increase in violence against the Tacovian population of the falkland islands.
Logging in eastern UP continues dispite warnings and increasing policing. The loggers are said to be armed and grouchy.
Across the world, people are talking about the events of King Masher's fall. Rumours have it that the Avengers have formed in Arsinos...
Dalania announce that The Lake of Fallen Angels is an official memorial site to international leaders. This site will be open to the public, but will have military security.
Sethos requests a statue of Buffy to honor her sacrafice in the Fellowship.
Sodney Masher in human form in Amun-Seth prison.
The war criminal Masher, who Sethos decided to spare, is placed into a mortal human body once again by Sethos' advanced technology. Powerless, the prisoner is moved to a top security prison in the Spire, a new city being built in Amun-Seth. Many of the Sethians believe that Masher is a God, and his death could cause an uproar among the people, even though they see him for what he is - an evil genius.
The conflict between the CIS andUSP is declared over when USP withdraws.
The Table is handed to the UN by the USP.
After belligerent protesting from other nations, USP has finally pulled out of Kaneland and given up The Table to the UN. For the first time in ages, Arsinos seems to have achieved world peace.
AAC president Buffy The Vampire Slayer dies while battling Masher. Riots spark up in AAC from factions that didn't support the governments decision to send her in to battle, and those that supported Masher.
The fall of a titan! King Masher is defeated! Sethos rallies the Steel Tide as sentient machines back in his country and begins the long process of rebuilding his nation.
Technotoad is smothered to death on the frontlines by Janice, ex-ruler of Lexilo.
Thanks to a rogue AAC spy, King Masher has learned the location of Sethos in USP. For supporting the rebels, he launches his invasion of USP early and attacks in what promises to be a pretty huge fight. He is unaware of the Fellowship's plan, however. Sethos prepares the nations for war by providing military intel and electronic upgrades that will assist the defenders, and continues preparing the virus for King Masher.
Sethos, Steel Tide rebel leader, organises a meeting of world leaders to discuss King Masher's ambitions. He begins assisting USP with preparing defenses for the inevitable Steel Tide invasion from DB. This leads to the formation of The Fellowship Of The Arse-Stick.
A space pod crashes in DB. Out of it comes Janice - ex queen of Lexilo. She has come for techno toad. Who she affectionally refers to as her "little toodles!"
Dalanian military scientists have begun the development and production of combat drones, to be used (potentially) in the place of conventional foot soldiers.
Sethos arrives at Vettin with his gang of Steel Tide rebels. He makes an urgent request that the UN meet with him in top secret ASAP regarding a matter of potential global catastrophy. As a show of good faith, he hands control of his aircraft carrier, The Reverend, to USP.
USP announces development of an anti WMD system
Treaty of Milk and Cereal between USP and SE. Allowing SE bases and troops to be stationed in the USP. Some SE aircraft carriers will also be built in USP ports which have the space.
Dalania have begun to develop high-range, high-impact, non-nuclear EMP weapons, with the intention of disabling large scale systems with minimal risk.
King Masher pulls the Steel Tide out of Dalania after an appeasement is made.
public announcement: pullonia has begun to process of builiding a warriors palace with 20 decorative WMDs , 100 decorative tanks and 10 decorative aircraft carriers
Buffy has gone on record to compare Pullonia to the retarded toddler of Arsinos.
the people in pullonia are all bannaed from real relationships and must shag anyone and everyone, they are genetically engineered to become pregnant 1000% easier and so pregnancy always produces 5 children at a time, there is also genetic changes so they age twice as fastdpole.
King Masher: 'Nobody cares about you scabby people, we will harvest you again soon.'
king masher, are you aware that this nation is on your side you retard...ole.
King Masher: 'You are nothing. You will be assimilated.'
Mr.T authorises an expeditionary blimp fleet lead by RNAS Urpet to move south of Sarluka to defend North Novak and put troops on the ground which can occupy Sarluka for their own safety. MEanwhile RNAS Isimzia is stationed on the border and RNAS Taldraza is sent to the northeast for unspecified reasons linked to the internal conflict. In Isimzia the Church of Lunacy has won favour over the communists who go into hiding.
Dog Bollock invades western Dalania with the intention of harvesting for biomass.
King Masher publically announces the identity of the rebel leader, a machine named Sethos, and intends to find and crush this uprising quickly and swiftly. He issues a bounty on Sethos' head. Following this, the rebels take control of a Steel Tide aircraft carrier, renaming it The Reverend, and set sail for the Sea of Mermaids where King Masher will be too far to reach them.
King Masher's wanted poster
At the statue of Rebecca Black in Shrewsbury expats and sympathisers light candels and pay their respects. In the outskirts of Shrewsbury gunshots are heard, which turns out to be Novak expats at eachothers throats being on the opposite sides of the divide in their homeland. The chasm has also lead to an insider outing one of the spy-rings that was set up in Shrewsbury during the occupation.
Steel Tide naval patrols increase in the Whargarbl Sea, with small fleets patrolling the borders of Dog Bollock up and down. King Masher has returned to the Steel Tower, as has the Technotoad.
Vigils are being held in Lotiripol as the govt finaly admits Blacks death. Mr.T says "for the good of Randocracy we must stay strong and remember that Friday shall come again!"
Lunatic militant leaders try to intimidate the Brotherhood of Gabranth by saying Lupinis will intervene in Novak, in response Lupinis leader Moonmoon who was recently released into Lotiripol from captive in the palace has been kidnapped by the BOG in response with his safety being "dependant on the non-intervention of Lupinis"
Crisis in Novak As sectarian violence intensifies, the situation is made worse by news of Rebecca Blacks death in the Xehopi hospital, confirmed by Taylor Swift and denied by interim leader of Novak General Mr.T. The centre and south remains patriotic and loyal to her government, though in the North Gabranthian and Liberal factions have formed. In the west Lunatic and Communist factions have emerged and in the East the problem is not so much rebellion as it is violence between members of the Lunatic church and the Brotherhood of Gabranth.
AAC begins reconstruction of Oil Rigs in West Portas Ocean in an attempt to get its economy back on track after the ending of the war of the table.
The Table is turning[]
The Steel Tide Rebellion starts after King Masher loses control of a small number of his army, being distracted by the War of the Table. He is apparently pretty pissed off and blames the Technotoad.
Shaderian/SE forces retreat. Land Forces in Fort Vegas go scorched land policy where it is possible and a few rogue Shaderian terrorists stay behind to cause havoc.
AAC sign a deal with the devil and ask DB for help. In exchange for a foothold in a ruined deftonesville DB advance on the Shaderian/SE forces with their aircraft carriers and Kiel based airforce.
TABLE GOES MISSING FROM THE WRECKAGE.
Huge battle ensues, Deftonesville is practically levelled by another round of Shaderian ICBM's.
Ship carrying the table is destroyed by flying unicorn cats along with several carriers being destroyed or badly damaged.
Away from the festivities of Toastervision the Technotoad is spotted once again, this time near Madrid. He has again disappeared from sight, however. Tracks have revealed he has returned to Dog Bollock borders.
Rumours are spreading that the Technotoad is cheating on King Masher and is having inappropriate relationships with a Shaderian Tadpole.s S***.
King Masher: 'Get your cybernetic ass back to Kiel and oversee the harvest of the island. You don't even have genitals. Silly toad.' The rumours were, indeed, true.
The pirates have arrived in Shaderia and are eager to strech ther legs after a long voyage. Captain Jack Sparrow is looking for King Solomon after devising a way to steal his S***.
Solomon, Countessa Tamik, Baron Samedi and a small contingent of castle guards leave to confront these hapless pirates, planning to attack during the night, they arrange for darklings to be provided once they near the coast.
A few cannon rounds ought to take care of those pesky darklings (whatever they might be).
Shaderia launches ICBM's at coordinates at 4.3,6.8 to try and destroy the bridge to Fort Vegas.
GlenAgainBeginAgain is sent from Shaderia to fight for the table, some planes have been removed in order to make room for supplies which will be distributed amongst the shaderian vessels.
ABU Newsfeed ticker broadcast from Loveshack:
Rail to Rio completed from zoio, Xehopi-madrid rail nearing completion. Rio airport is operational and landland intl' is in final stages. Shaderian and Aacese airports heavily affected by Table war.
DB completes its Adolf Airbase on the site of former Kiel. SE and USP bases are nearing completion.
UN position on future of Fusonia is still cloudy, in the meantime the UNEC has been tasked with bringing Dominoes Pizza to justice. UP still requires 3 votes for UN entry.
Carriers Jesse Pinkman, Glenagainbeginagain and an un-named USP airborne carrier are ready for battle.
In economic news, oil production of SE and USP increases in West Portas and Loveless ocean. Concerns are arising about how well protected the USP rigs are in light of the strikes on the East Portas rigs. AAC begins major efforts to bring its damaged rigs back online. The western hemisphere suffers greatly as a result of the war of the table, particularly the AAC and Shaderia travel to which is suspended from various countries, especially the AAC where the bulk of the conflict is taking place. With troops on their soil and travel dwindling AAC economy is at a standstill, Shaderias is also slowing due to the massive diversion of resources to sustain such a war. Detailed update on war of the table to follow. More importantly, stay tuned for Toastervision 12!!!
Taking the initiative, Shaderia launch some MIRV's at the AAC airbase in Deftonesville and deploy Sacrenoir the Death Knight and Mortimer Goth the Necromancer in Fort Vegas to better organise the ground troops.
AAC responds by sending ICBM's to Oasis.
After harassing the locals and stealig their weed the pirates set off for Shaderia for more looting and to steal Solomon's S***.
The pirates attack DPRSJ while AAC appears to be engaged in the war of the table.
A recent opinion poll suggests that Shaderia has the lowest personal hygine of any nation. Kane industries sends a few crates of toothpaste samples but it is rumoured to be addictive.
kaneland board of health is disbanded after angry citizens on mobility scooters burn down the ministry of health after the controversial policy of reccommending to citizens that they eat 5 fruit/ veg per day.
Kane lands a leading role in the popular video game series Conquer and Command where he will play the hero who abuses his people to get S*** done for some kind of mystical purpose or something.
Shaderia launches ICBM's to 4.2, 6.8 in order to stop AAC land forces from Don Bronco reaching the occupied zone so easily. Stealth Jets are also being dispatched to send care packages of ammunition, medicine and food rations to the footsoldiers.
AAC airborne carrier Air Force 7 is sunk in the war of the table. Shaderia now has intelligence as to the location of the table. As such, nobody is allowed in or out of the ship carrying the table, and the the entire AAC navy and airforce focuses solely on defending the table.
The Technotoad was spotted briefly in Dalania recently. He has since disappeared.
The newly formed Union of the Spiderpig (USP) increases funding towards Oil rigs in West Portas in an effort to increase supply and fix the global economy.
King Masher creates the Technotoad to be a general to his army.
Noel Flies to the Falklands
Spanish speaking protestors from the off world planet of Argenitina demand the return of the falkland islands from Salopia as this was the birthplace of the famous spanish prophet Saint Taco and was brutally killed when offering drunken Salopian sailers a cup of water. Meanwhile a small group of missionaries from New Salopia have arrived on the Falkland islands and are attempting to pursuade the islanders to become part of New Salopia. There is potential for a diplomatic row if there is a crackdown on the protestors or missionaries.
Shaderian carrier Krakos is sunk in the War of the Table. More carriers are completed on both sides. Shaderia bombs and occupies Fort Vegasopolis.
Heisenberg sends an armed response team, contracted from Kanish immigrants and Pirates, to find wherever the hell this "Hellgate" that Bragg spoke of is.
Jackie kills Bragg
"You killed Aunt Sarah, you son of a bitch, now you're going to pay!" Jackie sends this video to Heisenberg. It depicts Jackie killing Heisenburg's distributor known by the name of Bragg.
Members of the Estacado family seem to be coming down with an unknown sickness. Doctors suspect it could be ricin poisoning.
The leader of Shaderia's main crime syndicate, Jackie Estacado, is very unhappy with Heisenberg's attempts to sell drugs on Shaderian soil, Jackie is old school mafiosa and will not tolerate this drug running from rivals and especially from his own men. The Estacado Family will launch merciless and brutal attacks should any drug runners be caught on Shaderian ground. Several mutilated corpses have already been discovered in underground dens.
King Masher begins the harvest of Los Camp and the whole island, intending to leave it nothing but a desolate wasteland as usual.
The pirates retreat from the Falkland Islands with only a few sheep after being repelled by the forces defending this islands. The pirates go off in search of easier prey.
The mass evacuation leaves Los Camp largely deserted, though a large number of Shaderian and SE troops still remain there. They seek to take advantage of the island for as long as they can before the Steel Tide arrive. Captured AAC generals and "citizens of interest" have been flown to Shaderia as prisoners of war. Shaderia has already deduced that the table must be on one of nine naval vessel and is close to taking it for themselves.
After having occupied the island city of Los Camp for the past few days, and using it as refueling station for allied aircraft, Shaderian troops offer to aid in the evacuation of AAC civilians. Despite the war Shaderia are not evil and will not allow innocent people to be harvested by King Masher.
Modrid gets a bollocking[]
The pirates know who Heisenberg really is and recommend that he keeps out of their turf or William Brookes might need a new chemistry teacher.
Solarchapel had already been evacuated several days before, resulting in small amounts of deaths to what there could have been. However, Solarchapel was the multi-cultural beacon of Shaderia and quite possibly the world, playing host to numerous religious and cultural monuments of significance. Many people throughout the map, who had some form of culture based there, become irritated with the AAC.** Though this doesn't mean they support Shaderia either, they too have committed atrocities.
Heisenberg contracts pirates to sell meth overseas and on the far side of the continent in places such as Kiel, Dalania, Shaderia and Stahl Empire. If the Pirates don't return the majority of the profit to Heisenberg, his spies and employees will take them out in the most brutal ways possible.
AAC sends 6 more ICBMs to Solarchapel.
The cities Kiel and Pleasure Town are completely stripped for carrier parts. In Pleasure Town's place, King Masher's Steel Palace rises.
The 2nd UNEC takes over made up of Councillor Fring, Councillor Obushma and Councillor Krushev
After the recent naval defeat against DB the Stahl Federation's Reichstag vote to increase miltary spending on the navy in an effort to return the navy to its former strength from when Stahl was an empire.
Kane industries is given control of Kaneland in a contract to improve industrial production and build a modern and efficient state. Start the chainsaws and the drils and let the exploitation begin.
The forges in Dog Bollock fire on full blast as the harvested biomass is converted into new Steel Tide forces and put towards the construction of all carriers and a new airbase is announced in former-Kiel in order to concentrate on a more powerful robotic air force. The harvest of Kiel fuels the continued construction of the army. King Masher sits in his palace, quite giddy. Poisonous air pollution from the forges threatens to drift over into the Wharrgarbl Sea.
The table is moved onto an AAC ship, part of a huge naval fleet, ready to do battle in both the sea and the skies. A very brutal/bloody battle ensues.
AAC fires more ICBMs at Shaderia, this time aimed at Talkeenta. AAC attempts to attack Shderian forces at Los Camp by using a trident formation, with forces heading from Paramoria via the Channel of Last Hope, alongside the forces heading via Wrgbl sea (headed by Nick Fury), alongside the forces that were already in the Fozamese channel doing pretty much what they were anyway, the aim being to corner certain pockets of the Shaderian navy and either take them out or force a retreat. The air force also bombs the crap out of Shaderia forces both on land and at sea, while simultaneously trying to shoot Shaderian planes out of the sky.
Despite past differences and hostility. UP and Stahl unite forming "The Union of the Spider-pig" (USP)
Remaining former Lexilolian states join UP in response to unease around the world.
After Kiel suffers dramatically at the hands of DB, Stahl offers them the land in exchange for peaceful relations. Stahl forces leave the island along with the last Stahlian aircraft carrier. DB prepares to harvest Kiel.
AAC supercarrier Nick Fury arrives in Paramoria, though most Shaderian forces are sunk or have fled. But this diversion shall buy Shaderia precious time. Nick Fury heads back towards the fozamese channel.
SE sends mobile fighter launchers to stahl so they can re-enforce kiel and gain a slight advantage in the air
The noble AC GlenAgain is sunk near western AAC. GlenAgain BeginAgain shall be built in his honour. AAC aircraft carriers Agent Coulson and Iron Man are sunk trying to defend the table. HMS Executioner flees from western AAC.
King Masher commands the Steel Tide to make landfall upon the island near Kiel and begin harvesting it, both Stahl's and AAC's controlled area. In for a penny, in for a pound.
Environmentalists arrive in Mordrid and set up an eco friendly tree planting centre. Lets give the forest a hand man and like plant some trees and S***.
The Steel Tide pulls out of Modrid after all harvestable biomass is scorched, making King Masher lose interest. Instead, the carriers and naval fleets are diverted to Kiel to blockade Stahl and the ground and air troops, along with the king himself, return to Dog Bollock.
Shaderian aircraftcarrier GlenAgain along with the HMS Executioner attack Paramoria. Several planes take advantage of the war to destroy AAC oil rigs.
Modrid is evactuated where it can be and scortched earth policy is begun
Advert: Are you tired of thieves stealing your property. Do you wish there was a safe place to store your valuables. Look no further than Holiday island holdings Safe Deposit boxes. Now available in table dimensions. Just quote "protect my stash" to our customer care advisor and your will never have to worry about theft again. And that's a promise*
King Masher splits his naval fleet in half - sending four carriers to intercept and sink the Stahl Federation's supercarrier, but leaving Bill and Ben behind to support the harvest of Modrid. Once the super carrier is sunk, the remaining forces shall be dealt with and the fleet will begin bombing Kiel as penance. Meanwhile in Modrid, King Masher leads the Steel Tide at a steady pace further west. Aerial bombing runs, supported by Bill and Ben, concentrate and the resistance's airbourne carriers in an attempt to bring them down before the Tide reaches them.
AAC's entire army, navy and air force prepare to forcibly eject the Shaderian sum from the Fozamese channel and defend the table at al costs. This war shall be bloody and brutal.
The Stahl Federation uses forces including the supercarrier Shield deployed in Kiel to invade northern DB in the area that was once Pullonia.
Shaderian forces, led by Marquise de Aversa and Alistaire Crue, attack the island where the table is being held. They arrive onboard aircraft carrier Krakos. SE forces also assist in the attack. SE's aircraft carrier HMS executioner leaves for Shaderia to help protect it from the anticipated AAC attack.
The Stahl Federation sends troops to fight DB in Modrid sending roughly half of available forces via land. The other half are sent to Kiel for as of this moment an unknown reason.
Kane retires to the holiday island to set up an offshire tax haven and signs a ceasfire aggreement with Stahl in return for a 20% loss of the southern territory. New Salopia declared an independent state and the rest of Kaneland reverts to a nomadic desert lifstyle.
Air power tips current Kane-Stahl war in Stahls favour. Segways buisiness is booming.
Kaneland forces in Vettin
Steel Tide continues harvest of Modrid while the United Provinces receives support from other former-Lexilo states and a Mr.T led Novak-Lupinis force
